


Not affraid to love ||jelix||

by InTheVoid



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Best Friends, Bisexual Male Character, Demisexuality, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Jelix - Freeform, M/M, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Sex, Slow Burn, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, YouTube, a tiny bit phan smut trown in, jelix fic but dan and phil being supportive best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2019-10-24 02:00:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 39,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17695472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheVoid/pseuds/InTheVoid
Summary: Felix has never experienced love, when Sean comes over he finds him self falling in love. How do you deal with falling in love whit a friend? Do you deny it and hide your feelings? Do you act on them? has the friend the same feelings?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone reading, this is my first real big fanfic. Much of Sean's storyline is taken from my life, it's been hard dealing whit some stuff but writing this really has helped! I really like feedback good and bad!
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> Also English isn't my first language, so writing mistakes will appear.
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> I will update the story as often as I can, hopefully once a week.

Felix just finished recording today’s video. He send the files to brad. He sits back in his chair and sighs he feels a bit down, he opens up YouTube and finds himself watching some videos of Sean. He always finds himself a bit happier and less alone while watching him. 

Midway the 3rd video his phone rings. He looks down and answers whit a big smile, “hello my potato guy”. “hey my Swedish meatball” Sean chuckles. “what is that I am hearing? Someone missing me?” Sean asks jokingly when he hears his own voice in the background of Felix voice. “Ha no just was a bit bored so decided to catch up whit my fave youtuber” Felix leis, because yeah he misses his best friend. They haven’t seen each other in a couple months do to busy schedules and that they live in other country’s. 

“dude just say you miss me” Sean jokes, because he misses his best friend. Felix didn’t answer, he just sighs. “I was thinking of coming to Brighton this weekend if it’s okey whit you?” Sean breaks the little awkward silence they had.  
“Yeah OMG yes” Felix says a bit to loud. “ I will film some extra videos for the weekend tomorrow and I can be all yours the whole weekend, what do you want to do? We can go sight seeing Brighton, or if you want to play video games the whole weekend I’m up for that to” Felix tries not to ramble and not sound to exited but literary failing whit that. He cringed a bit of how he’s acting.  
“dude calm down we figure that out when I’m there, just want to see you and get out of this boring hell hole here for a few days, okay?” Sean says whit a small laugh.  
“and o yeah don’t bother booking a hotel you can crash at my house” last time Sean visited he had booked a hotel but he ended up sleeping over at Felix house in the end anyway.  
“okay thanks man!”  
“ text me your arrival time fore your flight so I can pick you up there” Felix says  
“yeah I will do that, thanks! see you in 3 days best bro” Sean says happily. 

They say goodbye and Felix suddenly can’t sit still anymore he is happy and exited. He really needed this, he has been feeling down a few weeks now and he can see it in his own videos. And the fans are starting to see it to, they always get worried when Felix acts different in videos. He has been a bit more open to his fans after what happened a year ago. He was deep in a depression then. 

The next 3 days go by slowly he works on some videos, he feels happy whit the end result whit them. Something he not always feels. 

 

He jumps in his car and starts driving to the airport he feels a bit strange but can’t figure out why, a bit down? What is he feeling exactly? And why?. He figures it must be his depression, some days he just feels strange not down and not happy he just didn’t feel anything. Just a grey cloud drifting around in his head. Those episodes could go on for days but most of the time it would pass during the day.  
The grey cloud disappeared as soon as he saw Sean. His big smile was contagious. It always was.  
They hugged and Felix took Sean’s bag and put it the car.  
They small talked a little in the car. Halfway home they both where quiet and Felix gave o fast look over to Sean. He seemed tired a bit sad? He tried to come up whit something to say but could find the words. Maybe it was himself that was feeling wierd, so he figured. he stayed quiet. I wasn’t an awkward silence so they just sat there. Enjoying the view over the country side. 

They pulled up in Felix driveway. Got in to the lounge and both flopped down on the couch. Sean broke the silence while Felix was looking through netflix fore something to watch. “thanks man for letting me stay here, this is exactly what I need. A little time away from home” Sean rested his head back in to the couch and looks up to the ceiling and sighs deep. “no problem dude, glad you are here. Oh and i have missed you” Felix says.  
Sean lifts his head whit a small grin “Ha I knew it!!” “don’t hide your love fer me Felix” Sean laughs and teases. Felix just smiles and shakes his head and continue looking fore something to watch.

1 hour later he sees that Sean is fast asleep. He got up and laid a blanket over him and heads in to the kitchen. 

In the middle of him cooking away his favourite meal, Swedish meatballs, gravy, potatoes and lingonberry jam. Sean’s walks in barely half awake. He yawns and stretched his arms in the air just enough for Felix to see his bare hip bones and a hint of abs exposing between his t-shirt and black skinny jeans. Felix quickly looked down and continued whit what he was doing hoping that Sean didn’t see him staring. Sean saw him looking but didn’t mention it. “what are you cooking? smells good”.  
“my fave Swedish meatballs whit some Irish potato, the best of two worlds” Felix laughs. Sean can’t help but laugh at his stupid joke as well. 

“watch tv while we eat?” Felix asks.  
“Yeah sounds good” Jack answers. “good go and find something to watch while I make some plates whit food” Sean heads to the lounge again. 

Felix is up in his thoughts again, why did he feel weird and awkward looking at his friend, yeah he was good looking he always thought so from the first time he noticed Sean on youtube. But you could think your friend was good looking whit out being in to them right? He was just good looking that doesn’t mean I’m gay? Nothing to be worried about.. I just haven't seen him in a long time. Yeah that must be It. And also that he suddenly has started go to the gym. Yeah must be that to, he looks so good right now.  


“Do you need help? “ Sean says standing in the door way. 

Felix jumped he didn’t notice him standing there. “how long have you been standing there?” Felix was so in his thoughts that he just been standing there and looking out the window.

“A little while, you seem to have some deep thinking going on so I didn’t want to snap you out from it” he smiles kindly at Felix but felt also a bit worried, he seemed so out of it.  


They eat and watch a film, when they finish their food both lean back and get a bit more comfertable, Felix leis down whit his head on the armrest and soon after that Sean sees that he is fast asleep. 

He just sits an stare at is his friend, he's so beautiful and peaceful when he sleeps. He just wants to cuddle up next to him. He tries not to think about how good looking his friend is, its only harder to cope whit his crush on him then. One of the reasons he didn’t visit his friend that much lately where many but the main one was that he found out that he had a crush on Felix. He didn’t know what to do. He always had know he was bisexual, so it was not a chock that he fell fore a guy. Especially a extremely kind and good looking one. But it was his best friend. Also he had a girlfriend. But what he felt was real so he and her drifted apart more and more, he didn’t feel good about it. so one day after thinking it over several months he broke up whit her. It was a hard decision they had been dating for almost 10 years. But The feelings he had for Felix where more than he had for her. So it was the right thing to do because he did still care about her, it felt like it was lying to himself and her. It just didn’t feel right to be whit here when he wanted to be whit someone else. This was 4 weeks ago, he still hadn’t talked about it whit Felix. Normally they talk about everything but it was a hard topic to bring up because he was sure Felix wanted to know why and how and he didn’t want to lie to his friend but he wasn’t ready to talk about I jet either. How do you casually bring up, 'yeah we broke up because I am in love whit you..' Nobody besides his brother knows he is bisexual. He never been whit a guy. He kissed some and fooled around a bit when he was young but he never did more. He was young then. After that he had been in a long term relationship whit a girl so he never thought about bringing it up because he was planning on living his long as life whit here. They had been a couple for almost 10 years, but the last 2 years were rocky, they where in different places in their lives. It happens when you start dating in young age and life ahead of you.  


It was hard on Sean to live alone he was often sad and also he questioned himself often if it was the right thing he did. Because what the hell he was in love whit his best friend, Felix is also fucking straight what he knew of. But in the back of his mind he still had hope that he wasn't, what he knew of felix never had been in a relationship and he never have seen him whit a girl or even a guy, he never have seen him flirting whit either guys or girls on that hand to. They never talked about such things either. All sean knew that felix wasnt against lgbtq, that was a good start. So The plan of this trip was to find out what he really felt for his friend and also what his friend felt for him, and also take the Courage to talk about him ending it whit his girlfriend.  


Felix moved around a bit in his sleep and he stuck his bare cold feet under Sean’s thighs. Felix didn’t know he did this it was his body seeking for some heat. Sean felt that he was cold so he took the blanket beside him and lay it carefully over Felix, still sitting down and hoping he would stay like that because Sean was craving some contact, even if it was only some cold as feet.

Felix woke up and noticed Sean staring whit a smile on his face, he smiled and got a warm feeling in his body, it was nice and calming waking up to that face he thought. His mind went crazy after that thought what the hell ‘nice waking up to that face..’ what was going on why am i thinking like this?! It felt so wrong. 

Sean noticed the quick change from smile to frown in a second. He wanted to ask what was wrong but he didn’t have the time before Felix stood up and started speaking.

“I’m going to bed, I made the bed for you in the guest bedroom. You remember where it is?” Felix said whilst folding and putting away the blanket he had over him.

“yeah, I think I remember ” he said trying to hide his disappointment in the loss off contact and warmt from Felix feet under him. Also wanting to talk about everything on his mind. But felix was already walking away.  


Sean heads over to the guest room, the room was next to Felix room. Sean laid down on top of the bed not bothering to take his clothes of or to lay under the duvet. He felt empty sad and on the bring of tears. 

he tried to think happy thoughts he always did when he got to this stage but it all came over him suddenly. What the hell am i doing?! What if i came clean to Felix and it all became awkward. I would loos my best friend it would never be the same again. The banter the laughs the talking about everything. Nope not worth loosing him. They could just remain friends like they are now, i could hide my feelings away.

He laid there a long time thinking it al thru his head over and over again. He didn’t know how much time had past maybe minutes but it could be hours to. Suddenly he realised he was crying big sobs coming through his mouth he tried to keep quiet so he didn’t wake Felix up but it only got worse when he tried to do that. Then he heard a nock on the door.

“can I come in” Felix whispered. 

Sean didn’t answer he was embarrassed weeping like a child here in bed.  


When Felix didn’t get an answer he tried again and carefully opened the door. He didn’t know why Sean was crying but al he know was he wanted to be their fore his friend, comfort him and just hold him. When he opened the door he saw that Sean was laying down red puffy eyes up the ceiling and big tears falling down. 

When Sean noticed Felix walking over he quickly turned around in a little ball and tried to hide his face in a pillow. Felix didn’t say anything he just sat down next to him in the bed and lay his hand on his arm. They sat like that for a while. Felix just sitting there and rubbing his thumb softly on his arm. 

Sean calmed down after a couple minutes. His breathing getting more slow and the sobs getting less. 

“wanna talk about It?” Felix said in a soft and quiet voice.  
“Me and Sara...” sobs escaping from his mouth “ broke up” he almost shouts out between the sobs. And there it begins again he loses control over the tears again, sean feels angry at himself for not getting control over his body.  
“hey hey come here” is all Felix says and pulls him up into a hug. He hugs him tight and holds him like that, and tries to hush him. seans body shaking from his sobs. “it’s okey just let it all out. It’s okey to be sad about that” Felix says whit a soft voice. 

He continues saying it a couple times. He rubs his hand on his back while saying it. He feels his friend relax in to his arms and his breathing got more normal.

He pushes of Sean lightley still holding his hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “you know you can always talk about those things whit me, I am maybe not the right guy to give relationship advice, since I never have been in a serious one” he says whit a small laugh.  
“But I am always here to listen you know that right?” Felix says while giving him a small but concerned smile.

Sean nods and looks down feeling a bit embarrassed. Sean sighs and takes to courage to start speaking.  
“it was me” he sighs again. “we drifted apart..” He is silent for a moment trying to put his mind in to words.  
“we have been feeling on and of for the last year now, and about 4 weeks ago I ended it. It felt so right at the time to do that. I have been non stop thinking about if I was still in love or if it just was a habit of being whit each other . And the love was gone i realised. But I still miss her like crazy. When I am home it’s everything I do I am reminded of her. Her smell is still there and so many thing remind me of her. I can’t function sometimes. I just lay on the floor and feel empty like I have no emotions no feelings at all. I felt angry of myself because I didn’t feel sad I didn’t cry I didn’t feel anything when she left. But now I question myself if that feeling I had for her, I was not love, but i cared about here so so much still, if that feeling was enough? We had a great life we knew each other so well. What if I made the wrong decision? she loved me so much Fe I broke her heart. I really hurt her by giving up on here. But I did it out of love and respect se deserved to be loved not to be fake loved. I just was there in the end because it was easy.” Sean gives it all out in one ramble, it felt good to get it all out but it hurt thinking about it all again. He sighs and shakes his head a silent tear falls down his cheek. He stops speaking because he is so close to continuing confessing about his love for Felix but he stops and just looks out to the distant.

Felix wiped the tear away from Sean’s face whit his tumb. Trying to hold in his own tears. “sean, you are a smart and kind guy who did the right thing. It is not the easy way but you need sometimes make hard decisions to live the life you want. You are strong and sometimes you need to be selfish. It is not your thing to be selfish but I am good at that and can help you trough that. And this is also to be kind and true to her and she will understand that in the future some day.” Felix hopes he can comfort his friend by saying those words. 

Sean looks over to Felix and smiles.  
“thanks Fe. And I don’t know why I kept it for myself, its almost been 4 weeks since she moved out” Sean shakes his head and looks down again.  
“ it’s just hard for me because I feel like a jerk” Sean says whit a sigh. 

“hey now that is something you absolutely are NOT. You are a great guy how cares a lot about others, almost to much. You are the kindest and most humble guy I know!” Felix says in a very sincere and sharp tone.  
“thanks” Sean whispers and feels a blush creep up in his cheeks.

Felix wants to see his friend smile and cant leave him like this so he asks the one thing his friend always makes him happy. “What about some midnight video gaming?” Felix says whit a wide smile.  
Sean looks up at him and feels the smile rub of at him. “can’t say no to that!” he says happily. 

They end up playing for hours and it’s getting brighter outside again. At the end of the game they are playing Sean let go of his controller and stretches out. His back aching from playing and sitting weird. He looks out to the window. 

“maybe time to sleep before the whole day tomorrow is ruined by sleeping trough it. I still want that famous guided pewdiepie tour you talked about earlier” Sean’s says whit a smirk on his lips.  
“Ha yeah that tour is a ones in a lifetime experience” Felix says whit a laugh.

They go to their bedrooms and before they say goodnight Felix feels still a bit worried about his friend “you gonna be okay? I am just next door if you need anything. You know that right?” Felix says soft to Sean. Sean nods whit a smile, and closed the door to his bedroom. Both of them fall asleep when they lay down in bed both to tired to let their minds do anymore thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

Felix wakes up Whit the sun in his eyes, its not particular common that the sun shines so bright in the end of September in the UK. He looks at his phone beside him and sees that it’s already 11 am. He counts that’s not strange because they went to bed around 5 am. He stays in bed and scrolls trough his phone about 30 minutes. He gets up and takes a shower. Not bothering putting on clothes after the shower and just strolling trough his house whit a towel around his waist. 

He starts making some coffee and puts some bread in the toaster. He heard Sean walking around and heard the shower running. He sits down in the kitchen whit his phone while he eats his breakfast.  
He hears the shower being turned of and can’t help to lean a bit to his right so he can just see Sean coming out of the bathroom. He feels wierd doing it but he can’t help doing it without thinking much about it. Seans hair is damp and dripping down on his shoulders his towel low around his waist. Felix swallows hard and looks away directly when he realised what he was doing.  
It’s only 2 steps between the bathroom and the guest bedroom so Felix hopes Sean didn’t see him glaring or creeping on his friend. It felt like that for Felix, like he was doing something bad. He stands up when Sean’s closed the door of his room. 

Felix walked to his room not opening his door.  
“there is coffee and toast ready in the kitchen if you want some” Felix says and contiued walking towards his room. 

He sat down on his bed wondering why all of the sudden he felt the need to watch his friend get out of the shower. He shook his head and tried to get rid of the taught. He put on some black jeans and a cosy big hoodie. Even if the sun is out it’s still a cold windy September day.

Both got on some light coats and headed out. They first went in to the city whit some old touristy shops. They met a lot of fans while they where out. So after about 1 hour of walking in and out of shops they wanted some place more for them self, they loved their fans but sometimes it was hard to relax when fans would show up in every corner. So they went to for a walk down to the beach. It was cold and windy but so beautiful. Big waves of fresh air.

“this is so nice” Sean says calmly.  
“ Brighton is beautiful, this one of the few reasons why i moved here, don’t want to sound all hippie but the see gives me peace, when ever I feel uneasy or feel down fore some reason I come here and just listen to the sounds of the nature and waves around me.” Felix says while looking over to his friend.  
“Yeah you almost sound like a real hippie there felix” Sean say while laughing at his friend.  
“heey” Felix elbows Sean in his side. But also starts laughing, happy to see his friend laughing.

On the way back they stop and buy some pizza. Both to tired to cook food.

They got home, ate some pizza while watching some YouTube videos. First a gaming vid of Mark playing 5 nights of fredys, both Sean and Felix laughing out loud by all the attempts on trying his best not to die. Then Dan and Phil playing Skyrim in vr, Felix knew them well and like to catch up on them but he also wondered if Sean knew who they where.  
He glanced over to Sean to see his reaction, he smiled and asked ”is this Dan and phil?”  
Felix hummed back  
“I knew who they where but never watched any of their videos, now i know why their fans ship them so hard! They have amazing chemistry togheter” sean says smiling while watching them.  
Felix says nothing just sits their whit a big grin on his face. 

After 2 more videos of Dan and Phil. Sean looks over to Felix, still smiling whit a grin. “OMG you know them, spill the tea boii! I need to know now!!” Sean screams in excitement.  
Felix stays silent whit a attempted to poker face, and raises his shoulder “hahaha like I’m gonna tell you the big YouTube secret just for free” Felix tries to hold back his laugh.  
“OMG they are so dating, your poker face is rubbish!” Sean cry laughs out.  
“Yeah I don’t know why they trusted me whit this information” Felix says laughing a bit awkward. 

“But hey just to be clear they want it like this and I respect that so mouth closed you Irish basterd!” Felix says whit a serious tone while looking at Sean right in the eyes.  
“yeah I can understand why they want that, just omg they just are couple goals right there!” Sean’s says while realising what he just said. Sean blushed at that a bit. Hoping it was dark enough in the room that Felix didn’t see him blushing.  
“yeah they are cute together and just so extremely nice guys in real life to” Felix explained.

They played some games and drank some beers, They had a great time hanging out. Felix always so at ease when Sean was around, he always could be truly himself around him. Sean was leaving tomorrow and Felix couldn’t help but thinking of that he was gonna miss him. These 2 days had gone by faster then he would have. It always felt like this the times they saw each other.

“I’m gonna miss you when you leave tomoroww” Felix said almost choking on his own words. That wasn’t suposed to come out loud of his mouth.  
Sean looked over a bit suprised and to happy to here those words coming from his friend and biggest crush “yeah gonna miss you to!” Sean said whit a nervous laugh.  
A few beers and games later both head to their own beds. Before Sean stepped in to his room he looked at Felix walking to his room, Felix turned around before closing his door and met Sean’s eyes again those beautiful deep blue eyes. They lingered again this time Felix was the one snapping out of it. He turned quickly and shut his door.  
Sean couldn’t sleep directly because his mind went crazy ‘what the hell just happend? What was that eye staring, had that happened before? Was Felix feeling the same as him? No no he can’t! Sean don’t make this wierd for yourself! Fe is just basing nice and caring he is worried about you! Yeah that is it he must be worried about me that is why he is gonna miss me to.. or yeah why did he say he was going to miss me, sure he said something like that when he left last time but this time it felt different. Man up Sean you need to man up dont go all fangirling over your friend..’ all his thoughts where all over the place. Eventually somehow he fell asleep.  
Felix woke up but it didn’t feel like he slept at all. He put on some comfy clothes and headed to the kitchen. Made some strong coffee and waited for Sean to wake up.

' A few minutes later Sean walked in to the kitchen. “morning sunshine” Felix said jokingly.  
“morning” Sean said back while gulping down on some coffee. “What do you want for breakfast, scrambled eggs and bacon or toast?” Felix asked “eggs and bacon sounds lovely” Sean answers happily.

They cook breakfast togheter and sit down quiet. Not saying much while eating breakfast. Both scrolling trough their phones. Just enjoying the moment.  
“what time do you need to be at the airport?” Felix asked while looking at the time. “around 2 pm” Sean answers. “good I was thinking we could play some games before we have to leave” Felix said. They have about 3 hours before heading towards the airport. 

They are sat in the car by the airport. “when are I seeing you again? It was fun having you around again” Felix said whit a smirk.  
“Yeah was fun being here, I really needed this you know” Sean said happily. “we can check our schedules when I get home and see when I can come over again.” Sean continues. “Yeah sounds good” Felix said happy to hear his freind wants to see him soon again. Sean gives him a hug and they say goodbye.

Felix is home again. And it feels strangely quiet at his house. He started to film some videos to get his mind of it.  
A few days had gone by, Felix phone buzzed next to him in the couch.  
Sean: hey man what are you up to?  
Felix: hey! Not much just chilling whit a good book in the couch. You?  
S: nah not much, was looking thru my schedule for the next month at it looks a bit tight.. I can make it to you by your birthday. So in about 4 weeks.. sorry bro really hoped I could sooner.  
F: it’s okey kind of the same here. So 4 weeks and a birthday weekend. Looking forward to that  
S: yeah just plan for lots of game playing.  
F: haha will do.😂  
Felix put this phone down and felt like it was gonna be 4 long weeks.

His phone buzzed again thinking it was Sean again.  
Phil: Hey Felix! :) what are you up to tonight? Me and Dan are free tonight and catching up on some of the new anime movies if you want to come over tonight?  
Felix smiled at that. Phil was always so nice and thought of Felix, Phil knew that Felix was like Dan, closing himself in to his apartment and not getting out. Phil knew about Felix depression and wanted to help out when he could. So they often asked if Felix wanted to come over for a movie or just playing some board games.  
Felix: yeah sound nice, what time? I can pick up some pizza on the way over?  
Phil: the sooner the better if pizza is involved Dan says. :)  
Felix: haha I will be there in about 1 hour. 

Phil opened the door and let Felix in. “hey good to see you again” Phil said.  
“Yeah you to” Felix said whit a smile while kicking of his shoes.

They all sat in the couch whit some cosy blankets after eating all of the pizza . “I think I’m gonna explode” Dan said whit a happy sigh. Both Felix and Phil laughed at Dan, as usual dan always ate to much and later complained about it. 

Dan laid down his head on Phil’s lap trying to stay awake and watch the movie. It wasn’t easy staying awake when Phil was running his fingers thru his hair and playing whit his curls. They often sat like this when They where home alone. Not often they felt relaxed enough to this around friends. But whit Felix they always felt at ease. Dan often had deep talks whit Felix, often things around YouTube their mental healt and other stupid things bothering them. Dan and felix realised very fast after meeting at a convencion a few years ago that they had very much in common.

Felix was cosy under his blanket knees up to his chest and he saw in the corner of his eye, Phil playing whit Dan’s hair. It looked cosy and Felix got a warm feeling in his body. He wanted that to. Somebody in his lap and to stroke his fingers trough their hair. He pictured how it would be and the first person to picture was Sean. Felix sighed. 

Dan looked over to Felix when he heard him sigh, he saw Felix whit a frown on his face shaking his head.  
“movie that bad?” Dan asked whit a small laugh.  
“no no it’s good... I think? sorry I have not paid attention to it.” Felix said in a low tone. He felt bad not watching the movie whit them but his mind had wandered of several times. If it’s someone he can talk to about this it is Dan and Phil. He tried to build the courage to speak up. 

“I I am.. i have a question.. it’s kinda personal..” He sighed and looked over to them Dan nodded his head in encouragement to continue. “how did and when did you find out you where into guys?” Felix let out a deep breath like he was holding his breath for hours.  
Dan lifted his head up from Phil’s lap and looked concernd over to Felix. “I can’t answer for Phil but for me I was young, I had a o boy in my school I really liked when I kissed him it felt not strange or difrent from kissing girls. Also I have always felt it from my first memory’s felt that I liked boys the same way I liked girls.” Dan said whit a sincere smile on his face. looking over to felix and then phil and nodding at him to give him his answer, dan had heard phil´s story before and Dan thougt his story would meaby be to more help. 

“I didn’t realise it first 20 years of my life, it was when I never felt something similar what al my friends felt when they where talking about love, how you felt it in your heart and your body. I thought first it was me not finding the right girl. But when I met a gay guy in my new school it all of the sudden got to me. He kissed me when we where drunk. It felt so nice and right in some strange way. I don’t know why my brain finally connected all the dots but it was all so more clear after that. But it took time to accept that also. Slowly I did and then I met this guy while all of that happened. I think he was the one to make it very clear for me what love was” Phil said whit a happy voice looking down at Dan.

Felix didn’t know what to say but Dan saw that. “hey I don’t know what you are going trough but sometimes it can feel better just to ramble it all out. We are here if you are ready for that” Dan said soft towards Felix.  
Felix tried to speak but nothing came out.  
He tried again, “I think I am bi... or pan...” Felix says whit a shaky voice.  
He continued before he got second toughts about speaking about this “i have never felt that either, i have liked som girls kindof but never have felt that it was love." felix said towards Phil. "I never even have kissed a guy, I never felt this before what I know of. It feels so sudden. But it’s a’ll I think about. why do i suddenly feel like i want to be more then freinds whit somebody? and that freind is a guy.. When I think back on my life I see some hints here and there. But What the actual heck why now. I’m almost 30 fucking years old. I feel so lost whit my self, like i have waisted my whole life on somebody i not even am? And yeah I barely kissed a girl either.. Also I never been in a relationship in my adult life. Why do I suddenly feel the urge to want to kiss a certain person..” He stops there aprubtly. 

Dan sees and hears that and gives him a questioned look. “do when know that person..” Dan says almost whispering, he so fucking curios he can’t hold it back.  
Phil elbows him hard in the side an gives him a angry look for stepping over some sort of line. But then hears Felix whispering “Sean” Felix blushed, and saw both Dan and Phil smiling at him in the corner of his eye.  
“i knew It! “ “jelix all the way” Dan screamed of excitement.  
“does he know?” Phil asked still smiling ignoring Dan bouncing up and down  
“omg no!! He is my best friend how do you even bring up such thing. He is gonna freak out and pang boom end of friendship right there” Felix screams out of embarrassment shaking his head.  
“don’t be so sure about that, if my bi/gay radar is right, which it often is, it is on a 95% accuracy that guy is so at least bi” Dan says whit a big grin on his face.  
Phil laughs at his boyfriend but he knows how good Dan is in seeing such.  
“you know I always have thought you weren’t completely straight but I think I figured it out now. i dondt like to label people but i know my freind well enough to hint there is somthing more then you beeing straight” Dan says whit a stupid grin on his face. He can’t stop being amused by his friend feeling a bit awkward.

“Yeah even my parents thought I was gay or something so..” Felix says guilty.  
“Yeah my mum was the same when I came out to here. She was like ‘yeah we always had our assumptions, but we let you figure it out your self’ parents just know shit like that, even if we don’t no it ourselves jet. Sometimes i felt angry at them for not helping me finding my self earlier and telling that they tought i wasnt straight, but i mostly feel thankful fore not sending me in to some direction because i think i wasn´t ready for that then. And would only had made it harder, and maby made my realtionship between my parents and me worse. ” Phil expalained softly.

“but how can I be sure it is more than friendship I want whit Sean? And how am I not gonna destroy that we have, I rather just stay friends then loose him totally. And even if he likes guys and is bi as you say Dan it doesn’t mean he is in to me?!” Felix rambles on.  
“okey some internet support group coming your way” Dan says jokingly  
“answer to your first question is simple, next time you wank of think about Sean” Dan says laughing out loud seeing the expression on Felix face “you know what I mean when you do It, just thrust me whit that”  
felix now fully blushing and wanting to disappear. “and I think I have the answer if he is in to you, its just the way he looks at you and speaks about you.. Come on you need to be blind to not see that, i have never seen you two in the same room in pesron but i have seen the videos and yep he is totally crusing. Even the fans have seen it, and i cant say they are the most clever people because you know many still belive me and Phil are no more then freinds.." Dan laughs a bit at that and continius. "Okey just think about it last time you saw him when was that?” Dan asks curios.  
“last weekend? Why?” Felix asks  
“well did he give you the hole body panning? Eyes lingering on you just a bit to long? If so yep he is in to you mate” Dan says convinced.  
“Well uhm I fel asleep on the sofa and when I woke up he was staring at me.. And i had a blanket over me I am pretty sure wasn’t there when I fell asleep ” Felix said hesitate. “but what if it just was because I woke up he was staring and he was just being a nice friend giving me a blanket?” Felix says questioning and rambeling.  
“OMG hey bud calm down he is so totally in to you! Just thrust me on that!” Dan says sincere.  
“yep totally, just listen to yourself, a blanket over you when you woke up. Omg so cute” Phil says convincing.  
Felix blushed and looked down trying to hide his face in his hands.

Felix stood up, it was getting late and he had a meeting early tomorrow. “thanks guys you two are the best, just being so nice about this and not making it awkward as fuck.” Felix smiled.  
“ofcorse we know what you are going through and just ask if there is something you need advice about” Phil says hoping his friend will do that.  
“yeah have a nice evening wank Felix, I want to hear all about it after!” Dan cry laughs out while getting a hard elbow in his side from his boyfriend.  
“OMG Dan to much!!” Phil hissed trying to hold in his laugh.  
“omg you two are the actual worst I take it all back what I just said” Felix says shaking his head and smiling, walking towards the door.

When Felix gets home and lies in bed he thinks about what Dan said. He feels weird of doing thinking about Sean that way but he can’t deny it made him horny.  
He thinks about how he looked when he got out of the shower all wet and hair dripping, his well formed and muscled back. Yep he is totally getting hard now. Felix strokes himself thinking about Sean. Sean touching him and kissing him all over his body. felix is fully hard now. he pictres Sean making marks over his body. Felix picks up the speed and strokes himself harder. The other hand pinching his own nipple. Thinking of Sean nibbling and biting on it. And there it is, he comes hard. Panting loudly and heart raising. “omg that was something new” he said to himself getting down from his high. He feels a bit weird over how good that was and hard he came. He cleans himself up and laid back down in bed. Not feeling like sleeping. 

He takes his phone and looks thru all social media. Laughing at all the memes his fans made. Scrolling trough Tumblr and Twitter.

He sees Dan is online, so he sends him a message.  
F: thanks for the homework you gave me 👌  
D: hahahah omg you are welcome bro 😎  
F: 🙈  
D: so I count that as a mission accomplished?  
F: yep best wank everrr 🤙  
D: omg thanks for sharing bro. Now I can’t get that picture out of my head.. omg nope nope nope my eyes 🙈  
F: hey I am not that ugly you loaf of bread.  
D: no of course you hot af Felix. but I like to not think about you naked.. sorry bro 🙈  
F: omg you think I am hot! Haha I am not letting you down easy on that statement.  
D: just being honest here bro. And to save my as it’s not only me that think so the whole world likes to think so, what was it one of top 5 hottest men in the world?  
F: yeah cal me Felix hottie kjellberg from now on 🤙😎  
D: haha yep that name soots you. Rebranding soon?  
F: yeah I think so 😂  
D: oh Phil wants to say congrats on the top as wank 😉 maybe he did not say exact say those word but he means it like that so we are going whit that  
F: haha did I make my daddies proud you mean? 😉  
D: nope nopidi nope nope. I am logging out now...  
F: goodnight dad. kiss other daddie goodnight from me. 😘😘

Dan didn’t respond and logged out. Felix is laughing so hard he is crying. He loves to banter whit Dan, he knows he has the same humour as him.  
Felix falls asleep fast after that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***smut warning! end of chapter is just only smut.***

The next day he wakes up early, he does his normal day routine, go for a run, eats breakfast, answering emails, meetings, lunch, record a video.  
It was later in the afternoon now an he had been very productive today. He felt happy both in his mind and heart. It was a long time ago when he felt this good.  
He logged in to messenger, he missed Sean and wanted to talk to him. Luckily he was online.  
F: hey my Irish potato, how is it up in potato land?  
S: haha hey Swedish meatball. Just the usual windy and rain 🤙  
F: same as here then, I got some good whether in the morning so I had a nice morning run tho 👌  
S: ugh don’t remind me of exercise, i have been slacking behind on that lately.  
F: yeah me to but I woke up in a good mood so I found the motivation to it today.  
S: good for you man, you deserve that. Can you send over some good mood to me? 😎  
F: I will try my best whit my psychic powers  
S: want to share why you are in a good mood?  
Felix lingered whit his fingers over the keyboard, didn’t want to lie but he was not ready to say the whole truth so he kept it simple.  
F: Dan and Phil invited me over yesterday for a movie night, some good anime movies makes me always in a good mood and then a good night of sleep. I think just that made the mood go up 👌  
S: nice! well I will take your advice and try to do the same, watch some movies and go to bed in time 😊  
F: yeah simple things can do wonders.  
F: wished you lived closer so then I could have invited you over for movie night.  
S: yeah me to  it really sucks up here, no friends to do such whit.  
F: yeah that must suck. What are your plans this weekend?  
S: in have some Skype meetings whit the merch designer on Saturday and then a some other meeting inn the after noon. Then the usual, record videos and answering emails.. those fucking emails never end.  
F: yeah same but those boring meetings gosh they can make me barf too. I have 1 on Friday and 1 on Saturday. Sometimes I even wonder if they notice if I froze the Skype window of me and just left. Haha 😂  
S: yeah well that day you try that let me know if it works okey? 🤙  
F: will defo do that 😉  
S: sorry have to go Now, Robin is calling, he is editing my latest video so can be important. We catch up more later 😊  
F: okey yeah we will 😊  
F: I miss you..  
S: miss you to.  
Felix heart made 3 flips after that. And got stupid butterflies in his stomach. He looks at the screen. Sean missed him to.. they had said it before that they missed each other, but not just out of the blue like this. If felt different. He didn’t know what to do, he wanted to see Sean so bad now and he couldn’t wait 3,5 more weeks.. it would littraly kill him slowly. He saw Phil online, he was good at listening and advice Felix thought.  
F: I need advice! I think I am going insane.  
P: I am all ears! Or well eyes I mean. Spit it out and I will be your best advice giver!  
F: so.. I just small talked a bit whit Sean, he was saying he had to leave and I just did a what the hell and wrote ‘I miss you’ he directly responded whit ‘I miss you too’ we have said that before but not just like that, it has always being more like a joke. Writing nicknames after and just making a joke about it. This was different right? Or am I going insane and analysing it to much?..  
P: omg first of all cute, and second no you are totally right there. This comes from the heart. No jokes no explanation, he means it.  
F: phu good, now what if I say that in right now I am looking up last minute flight tickets to Ireland? Am I insane?  
P: no omg no way, you are maybe a bit insane but what the hell go for it! Go and kiss that boy of yours!  
F: thanks I don’t know if you could have stopped me anyway but good to hear the support on that.  
F: there it’s done, thickets booked for tomorrow. 🙈🙈  
P: whoho! I wish you all the luck tomorrow. Update us later how it went. ❤  
P: Dan is now jumping around and dabbing because he is so exited for you. If there is some one i know who might be insane he probably is the closest 😂  
F: haha he probably is. And thanks fore the support, it means allot to me ❤

Felix send a quick email to brad and sive saying he is taking som days of and they can upload the 2 videos that they filmed a while ago but never uploaded. He also sends an email to the person he had planned a meeting whit saying something came up and he needs to reschedule. They will be pissed on him for that but he couldn't bother less right now.  
He heads over to his bedroom packed a small suitcase. He finally laid down in bed. And then he got second thoughts about this. What was he doing? Was this the right thing to do? What if he was all wrong about Sean? What was he gonna say when he was there? Did he have courage enough to talk about al this? How do you even start a conversation like that whit out being so to awkward.. his mind went over all the options he could say to Sean. He tried to rehearse wat He was going to say. His mind went on like that the whole night. He tried to sleep but his mind wouldn’t let him.  
He jumped when suddenly his alarm went of. Somehow he managed to fall asleep.

Felix made it in time to the airport, checked in an was boarding the plain. He felt relieved their where no fans that had stopped him the whole morning at the airport, and what it looked like their where no fans on the plane either. He was not feeling up for selfies and also he really didn’t want to ruin the surprise for Sean.

He now stood outside Sean’s apartment, he rings the hell. He couldn’t breath his chest tight and he felt like he was going to faint at any moment. His hands where sweaty. I fumbled whit his sleeve of his jacket. He was way to nervous.

Sean heard the doorbell go, he was thinking about that could be. What he knew of he hadn’t order something so he didn´t believe it was the mailman. Maybe it was his neighbour again complaining of him being loud.  
He sighed and headed towards the door. He looked trough the peep hole. And couldn’t Believe his eyes, what the hell it was Felix what was he doing here?! He unlocked the door and swung the door open. “what the hell Felix?! What are you doing here?” Sean screamed in excitement but whit a small consern under his excitment.  
“I missed you” felix almost whispered so quite he barely could hear himself. He tried to say more but before he could he was hugged tightly by Sean. “I missed you to” Sean says softly while dragging in Felix to a tight hug. Felix hugged back he felt so warm in Sean’s hug. He felt so at home right in those arms.

Sean felt Felix arms wrap around him. It felt so nice he never wanted to let go. He wanted to stop time. His mind went all over the place, why was he here? did something happen to him? Did the media do something again? Did something happen to his family? Did someone die? his toughts excelated.. He put his hands on Felix shoulders and pushed him away a bit to look at him.  
“don’t take this wrong I am glad you are here, but you need to tell me why, did something happen to you? Your family? Did the media shitstorm you again?” sean asked very concerned, waiting for the worst.  
Felix was quite and looked down not wanting to meet seans eyes, he shook his head “no i am fine, family is also fine, and media not more shitty then usual.” Felix said the last words meeting Sean eyes whit a smirk. Oh he was so happy to se him. But he could already feel the awkwardness creeping up.  
“okey good, but I’m still worried tho! you just don’t take a plane to surprise your friend just for nothing” Sean said while gesturing to Felix to go in.  
Sean knew something was on Felix mind, but he didn’t want to force it out. So he gestured to the kitchen “Thee or coffee?” Sean asked taking two mugs from the cupboard. “coffee thanks” Felix answers short.

Afew minutes pas, Sean placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of him. And he sat down across the table whit his own mug. Felix still not talking, both feeling the awkward silence. He wanted to joke about it but he knew better, it was not the right time for that.

“okey so I need to talk to you about something, just listen to me this is a bit awkward for me.” Felix said surprised by his own voice not failing on him.

sean nodded, head tilting to his side trying to read felix face of what he was thinking “go on, just let it all out whatever it is I am the last person to make fun of you” Sean said sincere but worried.  
Here goes nothing  Felix thought and took a deep breath.  
“ s- so the last months or so I have felt like our friendship is more than friendship, I miss you when you are gone and I am all exited when you come for a visit. I feel empty when you leave. I had hard dealing and excepting this before, thought it was just that I never had a good friend in my life. But last weekend when you came over I started realising it was different.” Felix stopped for a breath. his hands where shaking around his coffee mug he didn’t dare to look up and open his eyes. His heart racing. 

Then he felt Sean’s soft and warm hands over his. The touch made him relax a bit.  
“oh wow I think I know what you mean” Sean started whit a soft and nice voice. He sighed of releave “And I have to be totally honest whit you, i had not told you the whole truth about me and my ex..” sean said taking a deep breath  
“I broke up whit Here mostly because I had feelings for someone else, that someone is you felix” sean gripping tighter around felix hands. He felt Felix relax more now. Felix looked up and opened his eyes. light bleu eyes piercing him  . Sean continued, “when I am still at confessing I also need to say I am bisexual, I have known since I was a young age. I felt difrent then others, I have kissed some boys when i was young expermenting, not many people know that, Sara doesn’t even know. I never felt the need to bring it up because I had her and I thought that would never change. So I didn’t see the point bringing it up. So in have been living whit that my whole adult life, not telling anybody. Now one knows..” He stops and looks up to Felix, a smiling Felix. 

They just sit there for a while. Both happy this wasn’t to awkward. the silence isn’t awkward any more.  
Sean phone alarm breaks the silence “omg I have to go, I have a Skype meeting.. kind of an important one. you okey whit that?” Sean said apologetic. “I will survive, I find my way around here, go” Felix says sincere giving Sean hands a small squish.  
Felix laid down in the sofa and started the tv. It was only minutes later and he fell asleep.

He woke up warm and cosy in his whole body. Still eyes closed he moved around a bit then he felt it, arms hugged tightly around him from behind. Sean. He froze, his heart beating fast. He laid still, hearing a light snoring from behind him and not wanting to wake Sean up he just laid there. He felt himself slowly relaxing, this was nice, he felt safe.  
A few minutes later he notice Sean waking up behind him. And his arm over him disappearing. Before Felix knew what he was doing he had gripped Sean’s arm and placed it back where it was right around him.  
“this okey” Sean hummed.  
“Yeah” Felix answered humming over the feeling to have Sean around him that close. He felt Sean nuzzel in closer to his neck and pulling Felix even closer. Seans breath in his neck gave him a shiver down his spine. Sean kissed him lightly in his neck. A humm escaped from Felix mouth. Sean lifted his head and shoulders up and rested on his elbow to be able to look at Felix, he put his hand on felix jaw to turn his head towards him. They locked eyes whit each other.  
“can I kiss you?” Sean asked whispering. Felix didn’t dear to use his voice because he was afraid it would fail on him. So he just nodded.  
He felt Sean’s lips on his lips. He got a warm feeling shot through his body. It felt so nice. It was just a short peck. He wanted more now.  
“was that okey?” Sean asked worried. He didn’t answer Sean’s question whit words.  
Felix cupped Sean’s cheek whit his hand and kissed him back. Sean answers his kiss whit kissing him back. Both men now not wanting the kiss to end.

They sat in the sofa both eating their pizza. It had been a nice evening not many words where shared just cuddling in the sofa while watching tv.  
“you know that you said earlier, about you being bi and no one knowing..” Felix started.  
“yeah?” Sean answered questioning.  
“so the other night when I was over to Dan and Phil.. I talked to them about al of this what I am feeling, i was afraid you know you weren’t in to guys. I was so convinced I had started to get a crush on my straight best friend.. But Dan was right after all, he was absolutely certain you where bisexual..” Felix says whit a huge blush on his face.  
Sean was laughing now “omg am in so obvious” Sean said while scratching his neck a bit awkwardly.  
“well no not much, I have never noticed it”  
“but I think Dan has a gift for that kind of stuff, he is a very good people reader, he knows something is up whit you before you even realise it yourself” Felix says basing over his friend.

“talking of them i should probably update them that i am alive, they are probs dying over in London right now not knowing how this al went” Felix says whit a smirk on his face reaching for his phone.  
“Omg they know about you being here?” Sean said chuckling.  
“yeah.. I had to ask for advice if I was doing the right thing you now” Felix said smiling over to Sean.  
“hey want to give them a heart attack?” Sean said mischievous.  
“what If you just send them a selfie of me and you kissing?” Sean says convincing.  
“haha they are gonna die” Felix said while opening the phone camera and pointing it at them. They kissed and Felix got that warm feeling trough his body again. The picture turned out great.  
He send it to the group chat he had whit Dan and Phil. “I would have done anything to see their faces right now” Felix said whit a laugh.  
Then there it came: pling pling pling 

Dan: hadafygif b wtf Phil: omg omg I think you killed us.  
Phil: and more omg you almost killed Dan literary he shoked on a piece of pizza he was eating.. I had to do the Heimlich on him.. so now there is shewed up pizza all over the tv. 😂  
D: you absolute dork I am so getting you back for this. You ruined a perfectly good bite of pizza. That is not going to be something I forget easily ..  
F: haha sorry bro but I had to do it.  
P: he will survive. It’s not the first time that has happened. He never learns either..  
D: oi not my fault the pizza is so good that I don’t have the patients to chew it..  
F: gross Dan  
P: but hey congrats on everything you know you really deserve this 😊  
F: thanks for all the support and advice both of you 👌  
F: oh and Sean wants to know how you knew?.. He is totally bisexual, he has known this since he was young.  
D: some things you just know. It’s not obvious for many but if you look closely you can see all the hints. Phil thinks sometimes I’m psychic when I sense that.. in think I is just me reading people different then others.  
F: deep bro deep. But he says thanks any way. And thanks from me to, it gave me a final push to go for it. 😊  
D: no problemo. 🤙

Felix put his phone down on the table. “what do you want to do?” Sean asked Felix.  
“can we just sit here and watch a movie and.. cuddle” Felix said hesitate.  
“Yeah what about those good anime movies you talked about?” 

They sit closely next to each other Felix resting his side into Sean. Sean put his arm around Felix and pulled him closer. Sean's hand running lightly over Felix arm and shoulder. It was a nice feeling to finally have Felix in his arms. He felt like he was dreaming. He runned his hand trough his soft blond hair. Felix hummed in to it. Felix moved around and laid his head in Sean’s lap. Sean continued playing whit Felix soft hair. A little moan escaped from Felix lips. They sat like that till late after midnight.

“we should probably head to bed, I have meetings tomorrow morning” Sean said soft.  
“yeah we probably should” Felix answers hesitate. He lifts his head so Sean can get up. He dosn’t know if he should stay in the sofa or if Sean wants him to follow him to his bedroom. So he lays down again and Sean noticed Felix isn’t getting up.  
“I am going now, you can stay here or if you want to share my bed, you know where to find it but I also understand if you are not ready for that” Sean says and gives Felix a peck on his cheek. He really don’t want to push him in to things.  
“thanks” is all Felix is manage to say and smiles fondly at sean.

Sean takes of his jumper and jeans, keeping his t-shirt and boxers on. he usually sleeps naked but if Felix decided to come over and share the bed he thinks it would be a bit to much to handle for Felix in the beginning. He really want this to go slow and he knows it must be a bit overwhelming for him.

Sean wakes up feeling the bed dip down on one side. He open his eyes, its dark but he can see the silhouette of Felix.  
“hey” Sean said whit a quiet voice.  
“hey, I couldn’t sleep” Felix answers a bit shy.  
“cem here” Sean says while lifting the duvet and pulling Felix under it. They lay on their sides body’s not toutching, Felix whit his back to Sean. Sean can’t hold back any more he needs to touch his beautiful soft skin. He runs his finger lightly over Felix back. He has a t-shirt on but he can feel the nice and firm muscles thought the thin fabric. “this okey?” Sean asks not wanting to make Felix uncomfortable.  
“Yeah” He nods and hummed. He continued trailing his fingers over his back over the t-shirt. He carefully lifted his shirt a bit and moves his hand under it now. He feels Felix body tense. So he took his hand away. “sorry”. He is going to fast. He can’t control his hands.  
“it’s okey, wasn’t expecting it.”Felix whispers.  
“hey just say when it gets a bit to much, I want to take this slow, i am not going to force you in to things you are not ready for. So I am more then happy to just hold you and rub your back” Sean whispers back.  
“thanks sean, I know you wouldn't but I can’t help how my body reacts sometimes, its all so new for me. It’s not you, its just all of this, I have never been whit a girl either really” he sighed. “I have fooled around a bit but those few times a girl followed me home, either I or the girl where to drunk to do more than passing out in bed. And when my YouTube career kicked of i felt weird about taking home a random girl, I wanted to fall in love first. But that never happened.. so here I am almost fucking 30 years old and as good as a virgin” Felix said letting it all out. It felt good to let it all out but he also felt awkward by confessing that. 

Still turned whit his back to Sean. He felt a soft hand on his hip pulling him over. He closed his eyes to embarrassed about his confession. He let him be pulled down to his back. He felt Sean's hand on his cheek and turned his head.  
“hey look at me” Sean whispered in the softest and nice voice. Felix opened his eyes. Sean only a few centimetres from his face.  
“don’t be embarrassed about that, I don’t care of what you not have done and have done. I have only been whit my ex Sara, before her I was a virgin to, I was in the same mind set as you. I wanted to feel loved first. So hey don’t feel weird about it.” Sean said sincere.  
They locked eyes. Both meeting the other for a kiss. Sean felt Felix hands and fingers in his neck and hair pulling him closer. The kiss was passionate. Sean licked on Felix bottom lip to see if he wanted to let him in. Felix responded directly by opening his mouth and letting Sean in. They explored each others mouths whit their tongs. Sean moaned in respond of the good warm feeling he got from it. He felt his pants get tighter his groin was against Felix hip. he pushed himself out from Felix hands and backed away a bit from Felix. Felix didn’t understand why he suddenly pulled away. 

“what did I do something wrong?” Felix asked concerned “uhm no no more like the other way around” Sean said a bit embarrassed. “omg I feel like 15 again not able to control myself”.  
Felix staring at him whit his piercing blue eyes and a wide smile. “haha good because I feel the same way” Felix answers when he understood what Sean had meant and he was in the same situation. Both turned to their sides and faced each other. “Goodnight my cute potato” Felix whispers. “night my hot meatball” Sean laughed softly.

Felix woke up whit his head nuzzeld in Sean’s chest and his arms tight around him. He felt so comfy and at home in those arms. He laid there hoping it would last forever. “you awake?” Sean asked. “mhmm” Felix answers. “we should get up and eat some breakfast and start the day, I have some meetings I can’t skip today”.  
Felix pulled him tighter when he tried to get up. “just a bit longer, I am so comfy” Felix said. How could you even say no to that Sean thought and relaxed back in to where he was before.

They eventually got out of bed and ate some food, to late to call it breakfast anymore. Felix now sat alone in the sofa, Sean was in his office having a meeting. It was one for his merch so Felix knew that could be long out of experience. He decided to go for a run, he had to much energy in his body for sitting still. Not wanting to disturb the meeting he left a note for Sean in case he wouldn’t be back before Sean’s was ready.

Sean got out of the office expecting to find Felix in the sofa, he wasn’t, but he found a note on the coffee table.  
‘I am out fore a run, don’t get worried in will be back soon ❤ ‘  
He smiled stupidly at the note Felix had left for him, that stupid heart he had drawn in the end of the note.. He felt his heart flip when he saw it. He really loved him. His small cheesy things like this and this morning not wanting to get up. It made Sean feel so loved.

Sean had finished his other meeting now and they where both snuggled up under one blanket in the sofa. Felix on his back and Sean whit his head on felix chest.  
Felix stroking his fingers over his back and trough his hair. Sean slipped his hand under Felix t-shirt and stroked his fingers in circles over Felix stomach and chest. He looked up to Felix to see if it was okey. Felix smiled down at him. He took it as a yes and continued doing the same movements. Felix stopped stroking his back, he got worried for a small second but then he felt Felix sliding down more in the sofa ending up whit his head at the same level as him.  
Felix kissed him deep and wrapped a leg around him. Sean now feeling Felix half hard cock trough his thin joggers against his hip. He breathed heavy in to Felix lips the kisses getting more heated now thongs twisting and discovering each others mouths. 

Sean could feel his own cock growing bigger now. Felix was now kissing and sucking down on his jaw and moving towards his neck. Sean started to loose himself. "good?" felix asked whit a huskey low voice sean never heard before, it was so sexy, sean nodded whit a whimper. Felix was sucking down on the side of his neck, sean moaned and breathed heavy and hips bucked up in the air, his body searching for friction. Felix moved his leg so it now was right over his fully hard cock. Felix moaned and bucked in to seans hip now also fully hard. When Sean felt that he was so close for coming right there of just that.  
“Omg I need you Felix, I need you, please” Sean begged to Felix. Felix lifted his head. Now slowly stroking down his fingers towards his groin. Sean bucked his hips up from the teasing sensation. Felix stroking the inside of Sean’s thigh. Even if he still had jeans on he felt every finger trailing up and down of his thigh.  
He moaned loud “fucking God you are so hot” Sean said in between his moans. Felix felt himself blush and kissed him hard on the lips. “mmm you to Sean when you are all worked up like this” Felix said whit a low huskey voice. Sean shivers of his low sexy voice. 

Felix shifts his body around so he now is sitting on top of Sean. Feeling Felix trembling hands trying to unbutton his tight skinny jeans. He laid his hands on Felix hands helping him to calm down. He helps him whit his jeans pulling them half way down his thighs and can’t help to moan of the freeing sensation he got.  
Felix suddenly looked overwhelmed by it all. Sean pulled him down on top of him chest to chest and feeling each others erections trough the now thin fabrics. He hears a low moan coming from Felix. Sean kissed in the crease of his neck. Felix answers whit bucking his groin and hips in to Sean. They keep moving and grinding, keep making friction over their cocks against each other. He sucks down a bit harder and biting lightly in Felix neck. He feels Felix body spasm at that and Felix is now letting out loud moans right next to seans ear not holding back anymore. The moans make Sean shiver trough his whole body, and suddely the warm feeling of reaching the edge “I I am coming. Omg omg” Sean screamed out.  
“m m- me too so close” Felix responded between breaths. Sean felt him come hard, and that drove him over the edge coming hard in his boxers. Now both riding of their highs. Felix relaxed and numb body on Sean whit all his weight. Both breathing heavy. 

their breating geting back to normal. “wow that was amazing” Sean said while holding on tight to Felix. “Yeah that really was something” Felix said a bit shy while getting of Sean and feeling the stickiness in his pants “ugh I am gonna clean up”. Felix gave Sean a kiss on his forehead and headed to the bathroom.

Both got to bed a bit later then usual. Tangled up in each other they fell asleep.

Felix woke up the same way they fell asleep. A couple minutes later he felt Sean waking up slowly, he also noticed Sean was getting hard, his cock rock hard against his leg. He blushed a bit, smiling and kissing Sean lightly at his cheek. Sean was totally a wake now eyes shot open. Turning away from Felix and blushing, he had been waking up whit morning wood. And was pretty certain Felix had felt it.  
“ugh sorry” sean didn’t know what to say. “nothing to be sorry for” Felix said whit o soft voice.  
They laid there a couple minutes and Felix saw how Sean was turning and twisting around.  
Sean was getting up “where are you going?” Felix asked curios. “uhm.... t-to the bathroom, cant get rid of this” Sean said blushing looking down.  
“hey come here I think I can help you whit that” Felix said biting his bottom lip and gripping seans arm and dragging him down in bed again.  
“oh” was the only thing Sean could get out of his mouth, stunned of what felix wanted to do whit him.  
Felix touching Sean every where, dragging his fingers over his bare legs up to his chest avoiding his hard cock. "so beatiful". Felix pulled on the hem of his t-shirt, “can I take this of?” Felix asked carefully. Sean nodded not trusting his voice of forming words right now. 

Felix moved and was now sitting on top of Sean, Sean only wearing his boxers. Sean pulled at Felix t-shirt, wanting to see more of him. He understood what Sean wanted and pulled his shirt of. Now both almost fully naked Felix started kissing Sean’s chest with wet sloppy kisses leaving the last one just above the hem of Sean’s boxers. Sean arched his back at the feeling. Felix run his hand over Sean’s clothed cock. Sean bucked into it for getting more friction. Sean moaning even louder when Felix hand dissapeard. But feeling now both hands on the hem if his boxers. “can I..” Felix asked flustered. Sean nodded eagerly still not trusting his voice. Felix pulled his boxers down. Sean's hard cock bouncing on his belly leaking whit precum.

Felix had never done this before and to be honest he didn’t know what he was doing, he just went whit his gut. It seemed to be working by the way Sean was acting underneath him. It was a bit overwhelming but he tried to shake the nerves away. The nerves disappeared fast when he realised how freaking hot the man under him was and how it was him making Sean feel like this. He kissed down on Sean’s chest and nibble on his hard sensitive nipples. Sean moaned loudly at him doing that. "yes oh that feels so good" sean whined needy.  
He continued sucking and nibbling them while he took Sean’s cock in his hand and started stroking his hand up and down. “mmm” “omg you.. feel so so good felix” sean whimpered between his moans. “mm so close” “mm faster” jack whimpered. Felix obeyed and stroke him harder and faster. “come for me” Felix whispers in Sean’s ear. And that was enough for Sean to get over the edge, coming hard in Felix hand. Felix stroke him trough his high. He kissed Sean’s forehead lightly and let go of his softning cock.  
Felix got down from Sean and laid beside him staring at the beautiful flustered man beside him. He was fully hard after doing that fore Sean. His own cock dripping from precum only from watching and feeling Sean come. He reached down his own pants wanting some release.

Sean was totally out of it when he came, he felt Felix laying down next to him. He heard him panting heavy. He looked at Felix trough the corner of his eyes, he saw Felix hands trail down to his own cock.  
Sean turned around laying his hand on his arm to stop him “hey I think I can help you whit that if you let me?” Sean asked carefully.  
“oh” felix took his hand away from his pants “is that a yes or a no?” Sean asked caressing his hands over felix chest, not sure what felix wanted.  
“yes, please yes” Felix whimpered. Sean kissed him deeply and sloppy on the mouth Felix humming in to it in response. Sean pulled on the hem of Felix boxers. Felix responding by lifting his hips so sean could pull them down. Sean went back for Felix lips kissing and tugging lightly at Felix bottom lip. He could feel that Felix already was close for coming. His hips bucking in to him seeking for friction. Sean took Felix suprisengly big cock in his hand, he felt yesterday he was big but now having him in his hand he really felt how big he was. Felix moaned in to Sean’s mouth. “you are so fucking hot Felix. Just so fucking hot I can’t take it” Sean murmured while stroking Felix big cock up and down. felix responded whit more whimpers and moaning seans name. sean never was big on dirty talk but he loved seeing felix responed so well to it so he contiued.  
"al worked up like this, whimpering my name, your big cock twitching for me" felix body shaking “come for me baby, inwant to see you come for me” sean whispered in felix ear. Sending him over the edge. Felix almost screamed out of pleasure from the release. Sean stroke him trough his high. Felix body was shaking from pleasure. 

Sean kissed his cheek. “I love you” it slipped out of Sean’s mouth. His heart pounding from how Felix would react. Was this going to fast fore him? Jesus Christ Sean you just had sex with the guy and now you drop the I love you bomb?! Jesus one fucking thing at the time.. calm down! Sean tried to reason in his brain.   
Felix opened his eyes and looked at him smiling and giving him a kiss. “I love you to” Felix answered.  
Sean sighed out in relief. Felix noticed that and laughed a bit. “you really thought I wasn’t going to say it back?” He paused and looked at Sean “you know I meant that whole thing not wanting to have sex whit somebody before I loved them, and not to pry but what we just did i think counts as some great fucking sex sean mcglouglin” Felix said giggling.  
“yeah great is the light word for that” Sean said and smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, hope you will enjoy it either way. next chapter will be ready in a few days :)

They are sitting in the kitchen and finishing up their lunch, they hade a long and nice walk, Sean showing Felix around where he grew up.  
Felix phone rings, it’s Brad.

“hey brad” Felix said chipper. “hey Felix, so uhm I guess you are not home yet?” brad sounding o bit stressed. “no was thinking of coming home in 2 or 3 days” Felix answers thinking he had said that to brad. “oh okey because you know the gaming series we had in store to upload these following 3 days, well uhm.. the file is corrupted and the audio is gone.. I really am trying to fix it but it’s not working..” brad sighed “we don’t have any other backup videos anymore..”.  
“faaan, jävla skit” Felix swore in swedish. “looks like I need to come home then” Felix sighed meanwhile looking at Sean feeling sad to leave him. “I will update on Twitter that their will be no video today.. and I try to get some plain tickets home as early as possible” Felix explained to brad. They hung up.

Felix explained for Sean what brad had said. “so looks like I need to get home asap” Felix said, feeling a lump in his troath. Sean really didn’t want Felix leaving already “you can use my equipment and make a video if you want? Or we could make a colab? The bottle flip challenge was a success we can do something like that?” Sean tried his hardest to convince him to stay a couple more days. “Sean. Okey, Yes we could film a colab for tonight, but I can’t use your things for my own video, people will notice directly and make all sort of assumptions of why I’m at your place and why I am using your things. I am not saying I am embaresed of being your boyfriend but..” Felix gasped. what the hell did he just call Sean? wow was he ready for that, where they ready fore that? what if this was going to fast? his mind going fast and overthinking everything.  
Sean eyes shot open wide when he heard that last word. Wow did he just say boyfriend. He really just did that. Stay cool Sean stay cool. Breath. Boyfriend .. sounds strange but omg I love it I love him, yeah I’m his boyfriend. Breath Sean breath. “Felix love, continue what where you gonna say?” Sean tried whit a steady voice.  
What did he not hear me saying that? Didn’t he like it? What if he wasn’t ready for that? Why am in so stupid?  
“hey calm down i heard you Felix or do I say Boyfriend? I like the sound of that.” Sean said smirking in a wide smile. Felix smiled back and relaxed.

“I- I was saying.. I am not embarrassed what so ever to be whit you and not embarrassed of who I am, but I am not ready for those rumours. The media will snap up and just want to lay low fore a while.” Felix explained carefully. “i don’t want to share you jet and i don’t know if i need to either, just look at Dan and Phil. I like how they handle it all and I really look up to them. Yeah people are a bit crazy on shiping them so bad but I like the privacy they have. And why do you need to come out about such things, we are living in 2018, i think its time for the world to know that its getting more normal and that you dont need to 'come out' to be accepted. Our channels are gaming channels and they have nothing to do whit who we date or what we do in our lives. So as it feels now I see no point in fans knowing. I don’t wanna hide you but when it comes out it comes out. I’m not kind of guy who is gonna do a whole video about my sexuality and cry about it, because to be honest I don’t know in what category to put my sexuality in to. And i dont need to fit in a catogorie either, i have fully respect of those who need to fit in a catagorie. But i dont need that, all i know is that i love you and that is all i need” Felix rants. He sighes, takes a deep breath and looks up to Sean trying to read his face.

Sean is a bit overwhelmed by the honesty of Felix words and he totally understands where he is coming from. He kissed Felix whit passion “i really think the same, to be honest I have not thought so far ahead jet. But I really like that to. It’s not hiding or lying it’s just that the fans have nothing to do whit that. We are still the same people and will be making the same sort of videos” Sean really wanted this too, he liked the idea of not needing to bring such thing up. The fans never knew about him dating Sara for almost 10 years so why would this be different he thought.  
“and about you not knowing what category you fall under, I don’t mind as long you aren’t bothered whit that. All that matters for me is that you love me and I love you as fucking cliché as it sounds it really is only that who matters” Sean spoke while cringing a bit of how cheesy that sounded. 

Felix kissed him for that “you fucking sapp, but yeah I really don’t mind. I am me and if that labels as bisexual or pansexual I really couldn’t bother less” Felix explained. Happy to have Sean in his life and being so understanding of what Felix felt and believed in. He truly is one lucky guy to have such perfect boyfriend.

Felix found plain tickets available fore early next morning. “so have any ideas of what we are going to film?” Felix asked. “we can do something easy, we can react to some funny videos and laugh” sean said.  
“yeah sounds good and that would be easy to edit to” Felix explained. “do you want to set everything up while I call brad? explaining i will fix a video and that I will be home tomorrow” Felix really needed to call brad, brad didn’t know Felix was visiting Sean, knowing brad he probably was shure felix was in sweden visiting his family, that was wat he always did when he got overwelmed whit stuff. So yeah it would be wierd just sending him a file of a collab of them two.  
“yeah sure just come in when you are ready” Sean said standing up and giving Felix a kiss on his forehead.

Felix sat whit his phone in his hand. Thinking of what he wanted to say to Brad. He knows he can trust Brad if just came clean about everything. He is a good friend and probably is one of the person’s who knows Felix the best.  
“hey brad” felix said a bit nervous hoping brad wouldn’t notice. “hey man, have you figured something out?” brad asked hopefully. “yeah I am filming one in a bit.. So I send it to you in a hour or so” Felix replied. “oh wow you have filming ecipment whit you? But yeah good I will be ready, you want it up tonight? What kind of video is it? Do I need to call sive for help it’s getting pretty late and by the time I have the file i Don't have much time for editing” brad explained a bit stressed out over all this. “uhm no it’s a easy one, I am uhm over at Sean’s place in Ireland and we will do a collab and react to some funny video's” Felix said.

“what you are in Ireland at Sean's place?! Omg when you said you where going away for a few days I was 100% certain you where back in Sweden” Brad said whit a nervous laugh.  
“heh yeah sorry about that” Felix was sorry for that but he just wasn’t ready to talk about it then. He didn’t know how he felt then, and knowing brad he would ask quistions, and felix really didn't like to lie.  
“it’s okey bro, just was a bit surprised” brad said sincere. “go and film a video now! And I will do my magic on it later” brad said happily.

Felix now standing in Sean’s office. “you ready fore some laughs? I think I found som good videos to react to” Sean said smiling wide. “yep ready let’s do this” Felix saying encouraging. They started filming and had a great time, it felt good that because of what they had now they still where the same. They ended the video and said goodbye to the camera. "wow i think that is going to be a great video, the fans will love that" Felix said happely. " yeah i will have aching muscels in my stomach from all the lauging" sean smiled widely. They looked at lovingly at each other, eyes darting over eachother, both leaning in for a kiss. Mid kissing both realising the camera was still on both fully blushing Sean reached over fast to cover it over whit is hand and turning it off. “I think I uhm i need to give a heads up to brad of the last frames and that he deletes that out” Felix said laughing at what just happened. Now both laughing.

Felix: I just send you the recording files. Just uhm make sure to edit the last minute out. And I mean that this time. No jokes now brad..  
Brad: okey great I will start right away. Okey bro, but why so serious I always make sure I edit your swearing and stupid shit out. I thought you had learnt that by now. It’s not a easy job but I think no have mastered it 😂👌

Brad was now curios of what Felix was so stressed about, brad thought he had seen Felix do some stupid shit and said some stupid stuff that could have taken out of context but Felix never have said lately to edit certain things out. Just because he trusted brad Now, so brad thought. So he opened up the file and skipped directly to the last frames. He gasped and was in chock. Was that a kiss? Did Felix and Sean just kiss out of the blue? He played it over and yep they flatly kissed. Not just a peck a total just full on the mouth kiss. He felt wierd looking at it now. But what the hell why didn’t he know this, why did Felix hide this from him? Was this just a joke where they fooling whit him? Yep that must be it.. whit all the shipping and jelix fandom going on right now he knew Felix could do that to him. Just for him to feel awkward for a few seconds.

Brad: wtf bro good prank bro, totally just dropped my jaw, so yeah good one you got me. 🤣 #jelix 👌🤙  
Felix: uhm what? Omg no that was not a prank! Me and Sean are dating..  
Brad: what wait are you serious right now? I don’t know when you are just dragging on the joke or you being serious right now.  
Felix: serious, swear on my precious cute ass.

Felix phone rings after that, Felix seeing brad calling whit FaceTime. Felix laughed and answers.  
“Okey so I really can’t see in your writing if you are evening sarcastic or real here so I need to hear it” brad said looking right in Felix eyes.  
Sean stood next to Felix just out of shot for brad to see him, he had looked over Felix shoulder when Felix was texting brad before and now fully giggled on the reaction of brad.  
“brad I know it’s sudden and I know why you are confused and I should have talked about this earlier whit you you are a good freind and I trust you.. but I am not joking and I would never do that of something like this.” Felix spoke in a very calm tone to make it as sincere as possible. They joke around a lot and he knew why brad gave it this conclusion. So he really tried to convince him.

“wow okey I was really not expecting this. So I'm sorry about that” brad said but still not looking fully convinced. Felix saw that “Yeah I understand it comes as a chock it did for me as well for a few weeks ago” Felix said and dragged Sean in to the frame whit a arm around his shoulder.  
“so what if we start over.. hi brad I need to tell you something, we are good friends and we have been a while now so I want to introduce you to my boyfriend, Sean.” Felix said holding a straight face and kissed Sean. “believe me Now?” Felix looking at brad whit a wide grin.  
“yeah omg yeah you stupid dork” brad said wide eyed. “sorry for not believing you tho, I am happy for you felix” brad said feeling a bit bad for not believing him and joking about it now. “its okey i understand where you are coming from, just start editing and do your job” Felix said laughing.  
They hung up, both Felix and Sean laughing at the face of brad when he realised they weren’t joking.

The video was now uploaded, Felix and Sean where sitting beside each other looking on Felix phone, reading comments. They seemed to love it and there was so much positive feedback. Every time Felix and Sean collabed the videos did always crazy good. They really did make a good couple even on camera they hade great chemistry. There where a whole lot comments from the jelix fandom, totally going crazy over the video. Sean laughing at it “if they only knew” Sean said almost whispering. “yep they would die” Felix said laughing.

Both now lying in bed, cuddling and just wanting to be near each other knowing Felix would leave early tomorrow morning. “I’m gonna miss yeh” Sean said in a sad voice. Felix turned his head to look at him “Yeah me to, so much” Felix said and kissed him. “3 weeks are going to go by so slow” Felix said and sighed. “yeah it’s gonna suck ass” Sean said trying not to be to sad about it. “have you planed the date you are coming down to Brighton?” Felix asked trying to count days in his head.  
“I need to look at my schedule but was thinking 22nd 2 days before your birthday. When are you planning on celebrating your birthday?” Sean asked.  
“I was thinking 2 days after on Friday, i think most of my friends work on the week days. So Friday works better fore them.”  
“okey good, i try to stay for the whole week then. I maybe need to work some days but I maybe can borrow your computer for the meetings” Sean said really wanting to stay as long as possible. “of course you can use my stuff, if that makes you stay longer” Felix said happily. 

Sean kissed Felix lovingly. Felix hummed in to kiss. Sean’s mind went crazy of the vibration of the humming felix made. Sean nibbled on Felix lip tugging it a bit. Felix now let out o low moan instead. They now fully kissing and feeling the heat build in thier bodys. Tugging each other closer. Sean now on top of Felix. Both still kissing deep in to each other toungs twisting. Both feeling each other getting hard trough the thin fabric of their boxers. Sean slides his hand slowly down between them, stopping just before Felix boxers. “can I?” Sean asked carefully “yes please. Please” Felix cried out needing the touch. Sean stroked Felix hard cock over his boxers feeling his precum soaking trough them. Sean felt his cock twitch at that.  
He slipped his hand under Felix boxers and took a steady grip of his cock stroking it up and down and feeling Felix buck up his hips moaning. He could feel Felix was close. He let go of him. Felix whined of the loss of Sean’s hand. Sean kissed him looking at him “Babe can we.. try something new? Can I suck you?” Sean asked, biting his lip really wanting to try make his boyfriend feel good. Felix opened his eyes looking straight in to Sean’s eyes that only where a few centimetres away.  
“yes oh yes please, but only if you are ready that” felix said a bit concerned. “yes I want to i i have never done something like that but I want to try” Sean said convincing. “mm then I am not gonna stop you, I will like it no matter what because it’s you” Felix said lovingly and kissing Sean. Sean kissing Felix whole body sucking down in Felix neck almost giving him a mark in his neck. Felix bucking his hips in the air and moaning loud. Felix was sensitive their and Sean loved it.  
He moved down tugging down Felix boxers. His dick was big and hard. Sean kissed the head of Felix dick. Felix giving out some aahs from the feeling. It gave Sean more confidence of what he was doing whit the response Felix gave him. Sean kissed his cock from the base to the tip. And then taking the tip of Felix cock in his mouth swirling his tong around and feeling the salty taste. It was different, but he kind of liked it. Felix fully moaned of the feeling. Sean sucked down deeper. Bobbing up and down “fucking fuck you feel so good” Felix cried out.  
Sean smiled around Felix cock. Sucking harder and putting his hand around the base of Felix cock. Sean feeling his own cock throbbing and twitching every time Felix screamed out a moan not holding back anymore. 

Sean feeling that he could come just of hearing the deep moans coming out of Felix mouth. “omg so good” Felix screamd out between his moaning. “so fucking close”. Sean hummed of how he felt just how he could make his boyfriend feel so good. The humming vibrations around his cock broke Felix, he came hard, his body shaking and hands gripping Sean’s hair and tugging hard riding trough his high. And that made Sean come totally untouched and just by the feeling of a big cock in his mouth and felix tugging his hair. Liking his lips and wiping of the come from his mouth that escaped between his lips.  
He laid down next to Felix his body totally out of it. They laid there trying to make their body’s to calm down. Felix turned on his side “you are amazing and I love you” Felix said.  
“so I did Good?” Sean asked knowing he did but he just wanted to hear it. “yeah you potato, more then good” Felix said smiling and kissing him. “for you too I can see” Felix said seeing Sean’s wet boxers. “mhm have never thought that something like having a cock in my mouth could feel so good and hot” Sean said jokingly but in his mind really meaning it. He really found it incredibly hot to do that to Felix. “mm is that so.. maybe i should try sometime” felix said smirking and kissing sean. Sean smiled back just wildly in love.

Sean woke up early from Felix kissing him in the neck. “hey wake up i want you awake the last minutes before I need to go” Felix said in a soft voice. “mhmm” Sean answers barely awake.  
“holy fuck what time is it” Sean screamed suddenly wide awake. “the cab will be here in about 25 mins” Felix said calming him down. “what? Why didnt you wake me up. 25 mins is to soon” Sean whined a bit.  
“because you where asleep? And you really just looked so beautiful and peaceful. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up” Felix said apologizing. “aw I forgive you you beautiful little sapp” Sean joked. “ugh you love it when I am sappy” Felix joked back. “true” Sean replied and kissing him deeply.  
They laid there holding each other close not wanting to let go. “I really need to get dressed now the cab could be here any minute now” Felix said still holding Sean tightly. “yeah I know but I really don’t want you to go” Sean said sad. “yeah same but I really need to go” Felix said softly and sad. He let slowly let go, he got dressed Sean watching him every move. He got a text that the cab was outside.  
“Hey it’s outside.. I love you” Felix said kissing Sean deeply not wanting to back out of the kiss. “I love you to” Sean replied lovingly but couldn't hide his sad voice. “hey don’t be sad please, see you in a few days again” Felix said trying to be positive. “mm yeah a few days I will try to have it in mind” Sean said. “so no goodbye you get a see you soon, I call you wen I am home, in love you” Felix said “see you soon Felix, I love you” sean said.

Felix was almost home, driving his car. Wondering how he could fall in love so deeply in just a few days, well he maybe knew why, he always felt something extra whit Sean and he had been friends whit him for a long time. They knew each other so well, now more then ever. Strangely enough this didn’t feel wierd, even of it being new and som big adjusting for his brain, it felt so right and easy in his heart. Like it was the most normal thing. So he let his brain spin but focusing on his heart. His brain would come around soon enough to adjust. He feels loved and was in love and that was so that mattered.

He got trough the door, normally when he was away from home for a few days, it would feel nice to finally be home. But this time it felt empty and sad to come home. It is now he wishes his dog Edgar was here, he had left him in Sweden whit his parents last time because he didn’t have the time to look after him.  
He heads to his office needing to work his as of to get ahead of all the days he took of work. But first he called Sean.  
“hey I am home now” Felix said when Sean picked up. “good to hear, I miss your voice already” Sean replied. “can’t say the same, your loud as voice is still echoing in my head from the first time I saw you” Felix joked. “haha really funny bro” Sean laughed. “hey don’t bro me”. “I can bro you al I want” Sean joked back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK BITCHES!! so so so sorry for the hiatus.. have been in the hospital for the last couple of weeks..  
> ENJOY, MORE IS COMING SOON!!

The days got by slowly, they called each other at least once a day. Felix had invited Dan and Phil over for later in the day. He felt a bit bad about it he wanted that Sean had some friends like them where he lived, but he hadn’t, he had no one. He felt guilty to have friends over when Sean couldn’t. Sean always said it was fine but Felix knew better. He decided to cal Sean before Dan and Phil came over.

“hey you busy?” Felix always polite not wanting to bother him while working. 

“hey love no I am never busy when you call” Sean answers.

“what are you up to?” Sean continued. 

“nothing much just reading a bit to wind down and not over think stuff” Felix said sincire putting away his book on the side by his bed, he felt that reading was his inly escape from realty somtimes and only the best books such as moby dick books where the ones abel to escape from reallity . 

“and what is my meatball brain thinking of today?” Sean always curios but also knowing Felix always felt better talking about his over thinking. 

“feeling guilty of having friends over when you are home alone” Felix said knowing himself of how stupid thay sounded. 

“well first that is a stupid thought and second you really don’t need to feel like that, I am filming some gaming videos tonight and will have fun all by my self.” Sean said hoping it was enough for Felix to shake that feeling he got of. 

“yeah I know you will but can’t stop what I feel sometimes” Felix still feeling guilty. 

“Hey you have the right to feel things but please don’t feel bad about gaming out whit friends” Sean replied. 

“I will try.." Felix felt a sudden burst of confidence and before it disappeared, the words where out of his mouth "Hey Sean have you ever considered moving? I mean you always say you are lonely up there and have so many more friends here in England.” Felix said in a low voice regretting the question almost directly. after a small silence Sean answered. 

“ actually I have considered it a long time, moving to London. The only thing holding me here was Sara. But now yeah I have really considered moving. Especially now the latest 2 weeks.” Sean happy they where on the phone and Felix not able to see his huge blush on his face. 

“oh then get your butt right here! What Are you waiting for?” Felix bursted out happy, not able to contain his happiness of that answer. 

“well I could look around for apartments when I come down next time” Sean said giggling of how happy Felix sounded. 

“yes yes yes” Felix couldn’t hold back his excitement. 

Felix continued reading his book after the phone call whit Sean, now feeling much better. He was totally gone in his reading when he heard knocking on the door. always time going way faster when he was reading.  
As usual all 3 of them now sitting in the couch eating take away and watching som shitty movies, movies so bad they where funny. When suddenly Dan took the remote and paused the movie. “nope I can’t ignore it anymore you are offely quiet and my brain needs to know why” Dan said looking straight at Felix. Phil laughing because of how he knew this would happen sooner or later. 

“what do you wanna know?” Felix asked joking. “oooh wrong answer Felix wrong answer” Phil said laughing exactly knowing where this was heading. “where do i start?! Did you guys have sex?” Dan asked boldly. “yep” Felix said back confident. 

“omg Phil give me my 20 pounds! I knew it!” Dan said laughing. “omg they are worse then us Dan!!” Phil lauging out loud and reaching for his wallet next to him. 

“you two are literally the worst!!” Felix now also laughing.  
“and who is bottom?” Dan continued boldly. 

“uhm I don’t know for now non of us really or both?” Felix not speaking whit the same confidence anymore. “sounds like me and Phil, we switch. And that is perfectly normal” Dan now speaking whit a sincere voice knowing his friend needed to hear that. “yeah me and Dan never have understood why you should only be one of them” Phil reassured to.  
“thanks guys, feels weird to talk about this but yeah sometimes I wonder what is normal and what not” Felix explained. 

“hey don’t bother what the norm is just do you. Just like you do you whit the whole YouTube thing. You are pretty good at that so if you do that in a relationship then I think it would turn out just fine” Phil explained calm.  
“yeah I am pretty good at that I guess” Felix said smirking. 

“Sean is considering moving here or to London. He wanted to do it a long time now but feels even more right now. He wants to look for places when he comes down in 2 weeks. But is it weird or to soon if I ask him to move in whit me?” Felix asked hoping his friends would come whit some good advice. he looked over to Dan and Phil who now where cuddled up to each other both thinking about his question. 

“you two have know each other for a long time, even if you are more then friends now. Think about this, Before all of that it wouldn’t be weird if he moved in right? So I say you could totally ask him” Phil said.  
“yeah haven’t thought about it in that way” Felix said now not feeling that weird and pushy about asking Sean.  
“just ask him but don’t be sad or take it in a bad way if he says no, its a big step fore you two” Dan said sincere and smiling over to Felix.  
Dan pressed play again and they continued watching the movie.

Felix called Sean after Dan and Phil went home, hoping he could talk about him moving.  
“hey you awake?” Felix said laying down in his bed it was late so he was surprised Sean answered. “yeah kind of, in bed but hard to fall asleep” Sean said in a sleepy voice. “yeah same here, its strange just how I can miss you so much, i never have had problems whit falling asleep or feeling lonely in this big bed, and we only have spend a few nights together” Felix said chuckling. 

“ha yeah it surely is strange” Sean said feeling his heart almost melt of the love he felt fore Felix. 

“hey Sean I have been thinking since we talked about you moving down to England, I was thinking you could move in here whit me, we could make your own office in one of the spear rooms. And If you don’t want to I understand but just consider it okey?” Felix spoke fast and now holding his breath preparing for the worst. 

“Felix I don’t know. I love you but isn’t this a bit fast? It feels wrong. Like what would people say when they found out, some of them even don’t know me and Sara are broken up..” Sean said and sighed deeply. 

“I understand, but what if you not think about what other people would say or think about it? And what you want?” Felix asked knowing Sean always thinking about others, it was a lovely side of Sean but sometimes he forgot to do what he wanted and loved.  
“I know how you always want to do the good things and what others expect from you, but you have been so good the last couple of months thinking about yourself and I hope that you do that whit this also” Felix continued.  
Sean chuckled “you know me so well Felix.. and much of that being better of taking care of my self I ow a lot to you.” Sean paused “and I will think about moving in whit you.” Sean said hoping Felix would take it okey.  
"thanks Sean that makes me very happy”. Both fell silence a while. 

“I love you” sean said in a soft voice. “love you to, so much” Felix replied. 

“want to see your face and kiss you right now” felix said whit a sad low voice.  
“well one of the things i can fix” sean replied chipper. “wait” Sean continued. 

Sean hung up. 

But seconds later calling whit Skype. Felix smiled and answered. 

“tadaa” Sean said and now seeing Felix stupid big smile. 

“why didn't we do this sooner?” felix chuckling at how dumb he felt. “i don't no man it was you how called me” sean joking and winking. “good thing some of us are full of energy and using more then one braincell” Felix smiling of how wide awake and happy Sean looked. 

“you look tiered Fe, we can hang up and talk more tomorrow if you want” Sean seeing Felix had big bags under his eyes, wanting to take care of him. 

“I am really tired but I can’t sleep. It’s s empty and quiet here” Felix said yawning.  
sean smiled lovingly “what if I just continued talking some rubbish while you tuck yourself in and fall asleep of my gibberish talking, I will talk about something boring so you will be asleep in minutes.” Sean said convincing. 

“I like the sound of that” Felix said nodding and smiling. He laid back and rolled over to his side laying the phone against a pillow so he didn’t need to hold it but still could see Sean. “so close your eyes and I will not shut up before I hear you snoring” Sean now speaking a bit softer. 

“love you” Felix said staring right in to Sean’s eyes.  
“l love you to, now close those beautiful eyes of yours and get some sleep” Sean said. Felix closed his eyes. Felix fell asleep just minutes after. Sean saw Felix falling asleep his mouth relaxing and dropping open. Light snores escaping from his mouth. Sean stopped talking and now just staring at Felix face, taking in all the features of his face. “goodnight my love” Sean whispered and hanging up. He felt asleep soon after that to whit a warm happy feeling in his body.

Only 3 days left Sean thought. He had been thinking a whole lot about the moving situation. And always landing on yeah why the heck shouldn’t he move in whit Felix, he would end upon Felix place everyday anyway. He decided to text Felix whit some happy news. 

S: so when can I move in? 🤙😘  
Felix didn’t respond right away. Nothing strange, Felix was often in meetings and didn’t respond or read his messages right away.  
F: omg you absolute mad lad.. i read your text while in a big meeting, and i just sat there smiling at my phone so brad needed to snap me out of it.🙈 And yes you can move in whenever you want the sooner the better. ❤❤  
S: oops hope the rest of the meeting went well. S: And I was thinking of taking whit me some stuff when I come down in 3 days. I have a whole week of content ready to upload. After that I need to be ready to make more. So do you think we can make one of your rooms ready for me in just one week?  
F: yep totally doable. We can order some foam padding and stuff now if you want so it will be here when you arrive. And I have a computer for you whit monitors and all you can take. I got sponsored a new one so the other one is just sitting here now. Brad will maybe be pissed because he wanted it but he needs to know you are more important, he is way to greedy already, and stealing my stuff.😘  
S: you are to good to be true. I will take whit me my camera and recording things. It will take most of the space in my suitcase so I think a shopping day will be needed. 🤗  
F: sounds good, we maybe can meet up whit Dan and Phil to then. Double dating 🤙  
S: haha that would be fun. Fans spotting us are gonna go crazy. Jelix and phan out shopping.. what more could they ask for 😂😂  
F: yep I love messing whit their desperate little brains 😂  
S: yeah me to 👌  
F: I will text them later, maybe we can do it on Tuesday, then we have a day to ourselves first. ❤  
S: sounds good for me. I am kind of counting down the hours now. Never would have thought of feeling like a teenager again 😂  
F: yeah I think i need to take a run. Feels like I am going to jump out of my skin any moment 🙈  
S: same but also lazy af, can you give me a good speech and convince me to take a run?  
F: hm I can but I also can threaten you in to it..  
F: if you don’t run I am never having sex whit you again.  
S: oh no. Changing in to work out clothes now.. And also wtf now I am thinking about sex and getting horny. 🙈  
F: well better run you know what happens otherwise.  
S: pft like you can resist my sexy ass 😘  
F: ugh maybe not 😍 but is it worth the risk?  
S: nope! I am putting on running shoes right now . Thanks for the pep talk. Or what the hell this was.  
F: good. Love you my sweet ass potato boi. 😎❤  
S: love yah more ❤

1 hour left, why is time going so slowly when you want it to go fast. The plane was preparing for landing. 20 mins he will be on the ground then all he needed to do was collect his bag from special baggage claim. Having so much camera stuff had its down side, having to check it in for special baggage making sure nothing would brake. He knew that would take it’s time. He had convinced Felix to stay in his car because he didn’t know if he could hold his hands of himself if they met inside the airport. Not a good idea whit fans everywhere. 

Felix had almost 70m subscribers so they literally showed up every where now. It was kind of a shitshow all the ‘subscribe to pewdiepie’ stuff all over the media. But felix loved it and really was amassed by all of his fans doing such creative things. Making music and art, Felix couldn’t stop speaking about it over the phone some days. He was so proud over his talented fans. 

It was good to see and hear Felix so happy, he remembered how depressed he was when he was in L.A. for the scare pewdiepie show. He had called Sean so many late nights drunk and crying. almost loosing it and wanting to give up on everything, and not in a joking way, sean really noticed that it as no joke anymore. Sean remembered booking a last minute flight to L.A. one noght after a phone cal from Felix sounding he was done whit life not only his career but hearing him speak drunk about such things made sean panic. he needed to take care of him before it was to late.

He remembers it all so clearly like it was yesterday. Knocking on Felix door early in the morning. Felix not opening the door. Sean found the back door unlocked so he got in and found Felix on the floor drunk and past out, his body shaking. He was so out of it that his body was uncontrollable shaking. He hadn’t eaten in days, he got to know after felix sobered up, and then had downing a bottle of whiskey, his body slowly giving up. He keeled down next to Felix and just held him till his body stopped shaking. felix stopped shaking but now started crying uncontrollable instead. He held him till he stopped crying. He held him till he could think clearly again. Felix let himself being hold. He needed it and he knew he needed it.  
After that Sean had grown more feelings for Felix. He wanted to take care of him and make him happy. It was his life mission. And he did a pretty good job, slowly he got more steady, and he convinced Felix to go to a therapist.  
Felix reminded him often to take care of himself to not only others. He was always thankful for Felix reminding him of that. He had gotten better at It but sometimes he forgot, and Felix was right there then to remind him.

He was walking up to Felix car now almost running. He opened the door closed it looked around not seeing anybody around them. He practically attacked Felix whit a kiss deep long and passionate. Both smiling in to the kiss.  
“sorry wow I have missed that” sean said seeing he had taken Felix a bit of guard. Felix kissed him back and pulling him closer. “oh i have missed you to you dork” felix said. Both having their heads pressed together smiling and looking in each other's eyes. Let’s head home.

The ride home was long, or it felt like that anyway Sean just wanted to kiss him more but couldn’t when Felix was driving. To dangerous. Sean couldn’t stop staring at Felix, he was beautiful, o short trimmed beard glowing soft skin and those eyes, so blue and beautiful. Felix saw him staring but Sean didn’t look away, not bothering to get cought anymore. Felix smiled and looked at the road again. He felt Felix hand on his hand squishing light and massaging his palm whit his thumb. 

“Love you” Felix said whit a soft loving voice. Sean heart felt like it was melting. This man, how did he deserve such perfect human?  
“Love you to” Sean replied soft. Felix took his hand away and turned up on his driveway. He turned the engine of and Felix turned around facing Sean and kissed him.

Felix helped Sean whit his heavy suitcase. “welcome home, want to unpack first or just relax for a bit?” Felix asked breaking the little awkward silence. Sean didn’t answer.

He took Felix hand pulled him closer, kissed him softly first then more heated. pulling him even closer, one hand on his hip the other on his ass and squishing it, Felix hummed in the kiss. Sean now nibbling and and tugging lightly on Felix bottom lip.  
The kissing got more and more heated. Both touching and pulling on the other. Pressing close to each other both feeling each others half hard cock growing.  
“bedroom?” Felix whispered in Sean’s ear. Sean nodded. 

Felix dragged Sean trough the house to his bedroom. Sean pushing down Felix on the bed so He was sitting on the edge. Pulling his t-shirt of and taking his own of, in one fast motion. Sean pressed his hands on Felix chest pushing him on his back, feeling his soft skin. Sean slowly almost teasingly dropped his hands to the hem of Felix sweat pants he pulled them down boxers following whit the pants, while felix lifted his hips to make it more easy. Sean stepped back a step dropping Felix pants to the ground, licking his lips of how beatiful and flustered felix looked. Felix noticed sean staring, he pressed upp to his elbows resting on them. "liking what you see?" Felix teased.

sean just nodded and smiled, unbuttoning his skinny jeans slowly pulling them down, his boxers followed whit them. Both where fully hard now urging for relief.  
Felix leaned forward, now sitting up again, pulling Sean closer and kissing his belly and chest. Sean was fit and had been working out more lately. and Felix could feel his abs when he trailed kisses over his stomach. a deep sigh almost moany breath escaped from sean when felix kissed wet kisses over his nipples. felix smirked and repeated it.

Sean pushed Felix down in the bed and climbing on top of Felix. Holding down Felix hands over his head whit one hand. Giving kisses over his whole upper body licking and kissing his nipples, giving felix the same treatment he got. Felix moaned loudly, not the small ones Sean had let out earlier. Sean noticed the response and nibbled on them light whit his teeth. Felix moaned and bucked his hips up in to Sean both their cocks rubbing against each other. “want to suck you, and i want to make you come in my mouth” Sean said already kissing Felix big cock. Felix moaned loudly “yes please o please I want your mouth” Felix said moaning between his words. Urging for some release that was building up in him. “getting needy already” Sean said flustered. “yes please I need you” Felix cried out already feeling close. 

Sean licked slowly from the base of his cock to the tip teasing Felix more. He loved hearing Felix begging for it. “please Sean” Felix tried again. Sean took almost all of Felix in his mouth hitting his gag reflex lightly. The moaning was now screaming instead. Sean sucked down a bit harder and started bobbing his head up and down, swirling his tong round the tip of his cock. “aaah so close, I’m coming, aah fyfan satan jävla ghaa” Felix screamed out when he came in Sean’s mouth. Sean swallowed tasting Felix in his mouth.

Sean kissed Felix who was slowly coming down from his high. Felix gripped Sean and they rolled over so now Felix was sitting on top of Sean."you are just so freaking amazing you know that right?" Felix kissed Sean, deep and loving. 

Felix trailed kisses down his body, wet and sloppy. Sucking small marks of the inside of Sean's thighs and then kissing the base of Sean’s cock. His cock was leaking precum and twitching when Felix kissed it. “can I suck you?” Felix asked a bit nervous. “oh" sean choked out not realy expecting felix wanting to do that already. Felix back away a bit not knowing what sean meant whit that response  didn't he want it?. 

Sean noticed the concern in Felix face "i mean yes omg yes i want that, but only if you want. You don’t need to just because i did give you that. if you are not ready your hands are totally fine for me to. omg i love your hands” Sean said concerned but fully flustered about the thought of felix over him hand or mouth it really didn't matter to him. 

“hey shh I wouldn’t have asked if I wanted to. Okey so just relax love” Felix said holding his fingers over Sean’s lips. Sean kissed his fingers.  
Felix kissed Sean’s neck sucking and making a mark. He moved down and now kissing around his cock. Sean moaning in response now knowing what was waiting fore him. Felix kissed the top of Sean’s cock and licking of the precum. Sean moaned loudly and was tugging and pulling the bed sheets. not able to contain himself whit felix teasing licks and kisses. He put his mouth around Sean’s cock, slowly sliding deeper in to his mouth, testing out how deep he could take Sean, it was a strange feeling, having a cock in his mouth, but one of the hottest things he had done, and able to make sean feel so good. bobbing up and down whit his head sucking harder. “aah so close, you are so fucking perfect” Sean praised. 

Felix lifted his head “want you to come in my mouth, I wanna taste you” Felix said whit a low raspy voice and taking all of Sean’s cock in his mouth again. Those words and his warm wet mouth around his cock made Sean come whit out further warning. Moaning and screaming trough his orgasm. Felix swallowed the tick savior cum in his mouth. 

He lay down next to Sean pulling the duvet over them hugging and kissing Sean. “I think we need to get some padded foam in this room to if we don’t want to get noise complaints from the neighbors” Sean said laughing. “ha good thing i ordered 3 extra boxes ” Felix said smirking.

Waking up in the arms of Sean was the nicest feeling of them all. He felt safe and calm. he really didnt want to leave the safe place, but he had already made up his mind to make breakfast for Sean. He wiggled himself out of Sean’s arms not wanting waking Sean up. He put on some comfy clothes and headed to the kitchen.  
Scrambled eggs and bacon would do. And of course coffee. He went in to the bedroom seeing Sean still sound asleep. Kissing his head and cheeks and lips Sean slowly woke up. “good morning sleeping beauty, breakfast is ready” Felix said.

“mmm have I told you I love you” Sean said feeling all the small kisses he left over his face. He got up and followed Felix in to the kitchen. “you are the best” Sean said kissing Felix.

“ what are the plans for today?” Sean asked Felix.  
“I was thinking we could start whit cleaning out one of the rooms and start setting up your office.” Felix said exited to start making it feel like this was seans home also now. 

“I have two rooms I don’t use, the one next to my office and the one next to my bedroom, pick one” Felix said happily.  
“well it’s maybe best if we have our offices on each part of the house. Also We need to try not to film at the same time, I will be heard in the background of your videos if we film at the same time, because your boi is loud” Sean said laughing. “but if we need to film at the same time or if we have meetings or things like that the changes are smaller then to hear each other” Sean said.  
“good point, room next to my bedroom it is then. There is not much in there only a bed and a dresser so we can move that to room next to my office. Then we can start putting up the foam padding.” Felix thought out loud.

It took the whole day but they finished It, the room was clean the bed and dresser moved to the other room, and the foam padding is on the wall. “I think we deserve pizza now!” Sean said happy whit the result. “like you where reading my mind” Felix said hugging Sean from the side, looking satisfied around the room.

Both eating pizza and watching some of their friends recent uploads on YouTube. Both laughing out loud when they where watching Marks video.  
“maybe we should give him a call. I want him to know before I upload a video from here anyway and now that I have a clothing brand whit him together I feel like he should know” Sean said curios of what Felix would say about it.  
“yeah Maybe, if it’s someone who will understand it would be him. So yeah I think i am okey whit that” Felix said smiling.

“hey Sean what's up?” mark answers happily. “hey mark, not much me and Felix are chilling in the couch watching some vids on youtube”.  
“sounds fun, say hi to Felix from me!”  
“actually he can hear you I have you on speaker” Sean explained whit a chuckle.  
“oh well hello then Felix, long time no see” mark said laughing.  
“hi markimoo. Yeah have been a while now” Felix said happy.  
“uhm we actually have something to say. We thought you should know..” Sean said a bit nervous.  
“Sean is moving in whit me” Felix said fast before mark could talk.  
“wow finally you decided to move from that little ghost town of yours, I know you have said that a long time now so I am not that surprised Sean. Congrats! And Felix hope you don’t get tired of him and kick him out after a couple of days!” mark says laughing.  
“Yeah I really hope he doesn't, because there is one more reason why I moved in..” Sean said still nervous, looking over to Felix who nodded encouraging.  
“okey.. and that is” mark now sounding curious  
“uhm well.. we kind of been dating a few weeks now” Sean breathed out  
“FINALLY ABOUT TIME YOU TWO FOUND THAT OUT” Mark blurted out and laughing a bit.  
“WHAT?! So YOU are not even surprised?” Felix asked laugimg  
“nope. I have been around you two a lot, and omg the way you two acted around each other.. staring at each other, caring about each other.. well yeah only surprised it took this long for you two to find that out.” Mark explained sincere.  
“ha wow we where so obnoxious all this time you mean” Felix laughing.  
“Well yeah kind of. But I am really happy for you two if you can’t tell already” mark said.  
“thanks Mark. We are very happy. And also we like this to be just between our family and closest friends. You are one of the first we have told. Of course you can tell Amy if you want but just not anyone else key?” Sean said hoping his friend would understand.  
“Yeah of course I wouldn’t tell anyone. That’s yours to tell not me” Mark said in a gentle voice.

“Sean are you still coming over to L.A. when we do the latest touch upp things whit cloak before launch?”  
“yep I will be there beginning of November and will stay for 3 or 4 days” Sean said. Knowing he hadn't talked to Felix about that trip yet. He looked over to him. Felix looked surprised but understanding.  
They said goodbye, and Felix hopped closer to Sean in the sofa kissing him Sean meeting his kiss. They laid down in the sofa hugging and holding each other.  
“felt nice to tell mark” Sean said in a quiet voice.  
“Yeah i am still a bit shocked he wasn’t surprised, I mean I didn’t even know my self for sure what this was a couple weeks ago.” Felix spoke and nuzzeld in to Sean’s neck.

“hmm yeah well I have known for a while that I liked you more then Just a friend.. like I have always found you beautiful when I saw your YouTube vids. And then you did that stupid shout out, I think you gave me a small heart attack. And then when i reached out to you after that to thank you for that well yeah I didn’t think you would respond you know” Sean said now blushing and he was glad Felix was behind him to not see that.  
“Yeeeah but I did” Felix said smiling in to Sean’s neck.  
“Yeah you did and that was heart attack number 2.. also didn’t make my crush on you smaller, okey for crushing on a hot looking dude but when he also was so polite and nice. Yeah you didn’t make that easy for me you swedish meatball” Sean said laughing at it remembering how he felt so those years ago.

“mm hot dude you said?” Felix said in a low husky voice. Now leaving wet kisses in Sean’s neck.  
“mmh. Yeah the hottest of them all” Sean responded humming in to the feeling felix breathing deep in to his neck.

Sean felt Felix hand stroke down from his chest to the hem of his shirt getting under it and stroking over his bare chest. Sean hummed in to the feeling. Felix pinched Sean’s nipples lightly. A small moan escaped from Sean. Felix now kissing and sucking marks in to Sean’s neck while stroking and twisting light at his nipples. He felt how Sean was struggling to keep quiet and lay still. Felix felt he was getting hard, Sean noises making it hard not to. He pressed his half hard cock in to Sean’s back.  
“you are not so bad yourself. So freaking hot” Felix said whispering in Sean’s ear. And sucking on his earlobe. Sean responded whit a deep moan and pressing his back more in to Felix now fully hard cock.

Sean turned around and pushing Felix on his back. Kissing Felix deeply, tongs twisting. Felix arching his back in the air wanting to be touched. Sean cupped his hand over Felix clothed cock, he felt Felix twitching cock under the thin fabric. Sean placed his legs of each side of Felix legs sitting on his legs. Sean pulled down Felix pants, his big cock now laying heavy leaking precum on his stomach. Sean sat there just looking and taking it all in. His hot sexy boyfriend. 

Felix now looking at Sean “what is it love?” Felix asked a bit concerned. “nothing.. just you are so damn sexy. I i just love you” Sean said leaning forward kissing him. “I love you to” Felix said lovingly. Sean moved back a bit, placing himself between Felix legs, kissing the inside of Felix thighs and around his cock teasing him. kissing wet and sloppy kisses sucking small marks. he really took his time, waiting for how long Felix could take this teasing. Felix was now reaching for his own cock, before he could reach it Sean pinned his hands down "ah aa no touching" Sean said in a low voice. Felix gasped to that and gripped the fabric of the couch. Sean continued teasing around his cock.

Felix couldn’t stand the teasing anymore “please Sean touch me. Please” Felix cried out. “mm needy little shit I hear now” Sean said whit a teasing voice. “ahh please I need you” Felix said between his moans. Sean sucked down at Felix cock without warning and Felix looses control over his body of the feeling from Sean's wet and warm mouth, he bucked his hips in the air from the good feeling. Causing Sean to choke when Felix cock nudged his gag reflex. he jumped up sitting on his knees coughing and laughing.

“sorry omg sorry love are you okey?” Felix panicked of what he had done. “Yeah I am fine not your fault, I should have maybe have warned you” Sean said whit a raspy voice. “now lay still for me babe, one day you can mouth fuck me but I think I need some more practice before we can do that” Sean said laughing while kissing down on Felix cock again. “oh yes yes sorry I will” Felix said, visualizing the mouth fucking part. 

This time Sean carefully sucked down on Felix cock. Taking as much as he possibly could. Taking the rest of Felix big cock in his hand now moving both mouth and hand up and down. “ah yes omg fan så skönt” Felix cried out babbling in Swedish. Sean loved when he did that, the Swedish words escaping from him, he didn’t understand a word but he assumed it was good words. “fan jag älskar dig”. Sean sucked down a bit deeper and Felix responded whit coming down Sean’s troth. Sean swallowed all his cum. Keeping his hand on Felix and pumping it all out of him. Sean laid down next to Felix holding him close. Kissing lightly on his shoulder and neck.

“sorry fore not warning you” Felix said turning his head to Sean and looking him apologetic in his eyes. Sean kissed him lightly on his lips “it’s okey, I kind of liked it” Sean said smiling.

Both cuddling close on the sofa giving each other lazy kisses. “we should go to bed before we fall asleep here” Felix said sitting up and pulling Sean up


	6. Chapter 6

Sean walks close to Felix shoulders brushing. He wants to take his hand but he knew their fans could show up anytime in The street. They are heading to a coffee shop in London to meet Dan and Phil, for a shopping and catch up day. They are walking from The train station and now 10 minutes and a few blocks later they have already been stopped several times by their fans. they pick up the pace a bit, to avoid more fans stopping them. 

Arriving by the coffee shop, its not hard to spot Dan and Phil, both 2 heads taller then most people around. hugs are being exchanged. "wow you guys really are tall like felix said" Sean laughs while hugging Dan. Dan smiles, "or its you two being short" dan laughs and looks teasingly over to Felix, knowing how he hates to be called short. "eyy stop being a bully Dan, i'm not that short, you two are just freakishly tall" Felix laughs . 

They take a seat in the far corner of the coffee shop hoping not to many fans would see so then sitting down.  
“nice to finally meet you two properly” Sean said happily when they sit down.  
“Yeah finally, we have heard much about you” Phil said smiling over to Sean then Felix.  
They ordered coffee and some lunch. Small talking about everything, all of them finding it easy to talk about everything. After finishing their meals they started their shopping day. Finding some new clothes. Felix and Dan as usual very picky but both found some good basics. Sean and phil not into fashion and brands as much as them found loads.

They had been stopped several times by fans, so they knew it only was minutes from all the speculation on the internet of what they where up to. “I am curios what the most popular speculation is gonna be this time..” Dan says when the fans left. “double dates in London” Phil says happy. “it’s to innocent and no drama behind, we can make it fun and in all the next selfies we will switch, you Phil pose next to Felix and I will pose only next to sean” Dan says jokingly now fully grinning. He loves messing whit his fans. “omg serious yes! I love to see all the drama on Twitter and Tumblr later” Sean said fully on-board whit the joke. “omg you two are some evil basterds, but yeah let’s mess whit their small heads” Felix said. Phil shaking his head of the evil plan but went whit it.

A while later and many selfies and photos later whit fans, following their plan whit walking and posing whit the other. Sean asked Dan if he could help him find a birthday present for Felix. Dan beams at the offer, so they split up. Dan trying his best for some fashion advice of what to give Felix.

Felix and Phil feeling satisfied whit their shopping round and decide to go for some coffee. They found a empty small table at Starbucks. Both sipping coffee and small talking.  
“I am considering taking Edgar home next time I visit my parents “ Felix said wanting to hear what his friend thought about it, it was whit Phil he discussed on leaving Edgar whit his parents because he felt he felt he couldn't give Edgar the time he needed.  
“I think you should, now that you have Sean it will be easier, and also me and Dan are always happy to look after him when you two are busy” Phil said happily. “thanks that would be very helpful, I really miss him! I hope Sean is ok whit having him, he really is a handful of a dog” Felix said thinking of all the shit his dog had destroyed over time.

They continue sipping quietly on there coffee. Phil leaned in a bit closer to Felix. “how are you doing Felix? you seem so happy but I need to know if it is what it looks like, I have lived whit Dan long enough to know how a depression can hide true emotions” Phil said in a quite careful voice. " if you want to talk about it ofcourse, really it ins't my buisness but i know how good it can be to talk ab-" Phil continued when he saw Felix frown on his face but was stopped mid sentence. “I am happy, i really am. I cant deny it is a bit much sometimes, all of this relationship stuff is new. My brain will over think things. But now Sean is here it all feels much better.” Felix said quite back so nobody can over hear them. “good to know, you can always ask me or Dan for advice on stuff. Don't be afraid to ask” Phil said smiling and giving Felix some friendly but ensuring pats on his hand. Felix looked up “thanks” Felix said whit a shy smile.

“So what are you and Sean doing tonight? Want to hang out in our place and play some games and eat dinner?” Phil asked easing the air by chaining the subject. “yeah sounds nice, plans where to eat dinner some where here in London but eating dinner at your place sound much better, I think Sean feels the same.” Felix said happy of the change in subject.  
“let’s get to my place then, I send a text to Dan to meet us at home instead”. They stood up and left, outside several fans where outside wanting to take pictures. they had be polite and not bothered them when the where inside. so they stayed and took pictures whit everyone.

Dan and Sean where on there way home in the uber they ordered. Both looking and scrolling trough Tumblr. And both found the picture at the same time. Bursting out in laughter looking at each other. “well looks like we succeeded whit messing whit the fans” Dan said laughing. “well more like Felix and Phil did” Sean also fully laughing. "who would have tought those two would be abel to create somethings so beatiful, they where the ones not fully on board whit this in the first pace" Dan laughed shaking his head. 

Dan bursted trough the door “hope we are not interrupting the romantic evening they are having” Dan said sarcastic while entering the living room. “what are you on about you spoon?” phil said laying down in the sofa. “you two haven’t checked social media the last hour I assume” Dan said smirking over to them both. “you two are practically married if you ask the fans” Dan continued now laughing so tears streamed his cheeks.

Felix now opening Tumblr as well and first thing that comes up are some creep shots of him and Phil walking in to Starbucks, Phil opening the door for him. Then one sitting down by a small table both leaning in talking. And then one whit Phil’s hand on Felix, and he looking in to Phil’s eyes. Whit the caption ‘romantic day in London’ the comments saying ‘sad phan is not real but omg in love them together’, ‘#phelix’, ‘this is so cute’, 'omg why have i never shipped them before, they totally would be perfect fore each other', 'look at them those eyes at each other, they are so in love'. Some of them also referring to an old video Felix made where he said that Phil was a sweetheart, meaning it they had been a thing for a long time already, and that was proof. 

“omg what have we done Fe?!” Phil gasping when he saw it all. While Felix was laughing at the shit the fans came up whit.  
“Yeah total madness this. Should we say something?” Felix now also worried media will snap up on it, and make it a bigger thing.  
“na best to stay silent, at least wait and see if it will cool down” “for now we just laugh at the shitstorm” Phil said chuckling.  
“I should maybe call my mum though, before it reaches her and she think its real, last time media did an oopsie about that I died my mum freaked out.. And maybe i should talk about my real boyfriend to, maybe this will be the perfect time to talk about this” Felix said giving Sean a shy smile. "only if you want that love" sean said standing up and giving him a hug and kiss.

Felix went in to the kitchen next to the living room for some privacy.  
“hey mum” Felix said happily. “oh hey Fe, haven’t heard your voice in a while” she said back lovingly. “yeah yeah have been busy, how is Edgar? I miss him!” Felix said to open up the conversation. “he is fine, he has been behaving good lately, only one pare of shoes have been destroyed” Felix mum said laughing. “ha well good to hear he is still himself” Felix swallowed and continued “I am calling you fore a reason, i know you follow social media a lot, there is some rumors going around online right now” Felix said already a bit nervous in his voice.  
“oh dear, not again, you said something again that is taken out of context?” her voice sounded so sad. “well no it’s not bad rumors going around this time, actually quite funny this time” Felix laughing awkward . “you know Phil my friend?” Felix asked “yeeeah? The lovely tall boy I met last time I visited” she ask curious. “ yeah him, so the internet thinks we are dating now” felix laughs a bit. “and why do they think that?” she now also laughing a bit. “Fans spotted us together at Starbucks. Fans taking some creep shots” Felix explained whit a sigh. “well that’s not nice creep up on you two, but hey they are just rumours and you have gone trough far worse rumours than this” she said hearing Felix sigh heavy on the other side. “is it hard because you are being called gay and such?” she asked concerned. “omg no that’s not it” Felix said fast almost angry. 

“ I- it’s just that it’s not a total lie...” Felix said whit a nervous voice. His mum heard him tremble “but isn’t he dating that other guy what is his name, Dan?” she replied quickly questioning. “no its that I am dating someone but not phil” Felix said nervous. He practically heard his mom jumping up and down of exitment. “oh dear i am so so happy, how long? and do we know him?” She asked happily. “yeah.. you know him. What wait why did you assume it was a guy?” Felix asked very confused. “oh dear, I don’t know, sorry, I assumed, we have always thought you maybe where gay, but we already have said that before.. it is just you wouldn’t have said someone if it was a girl you probably would have said something like, I am dating a girl already. I heard you wanting to say that it was a guy, but I understand why it would be hard to say if you just found out yourself. As I assume you did, because last time I casual brought it up you still had no clue.” She said lovingly. Felix was silent. 

“I just want you to know that I am so happy for you! What is his name? And how long?” she continued again curios. felix smiled “Sean, you know the guy who had green hair before, and only just a few weeks.” Felix said happy. “oh of course I know Sean, you and him have been friends a long time. Can I share the good news whit your father? Or do you want to tell him?” she asked. “uhm you can tell him, he will find out as soon as he sees your face probably because you suck at poker face” Felix joked. “well yeah that’s because you are my precious boy and you sound so happy. I am struggling of not crying happy tears, I probably will when we hang upp” she said voice braking a bit. “mum don’t cry, because then I will start weeping to and that would be awkward standing in my friends kitchen” Felix said quiet. 

“you know it’s just happy tears, finally my beautiful son has found someone to love. It’s all I want as a mother that you are happy and loved and you deserved this so much after all that has happened” she said now tears streaming down her cheeks. “thank you mom I really am happy, I love you” Felix said whit tears in his eyes. “love you to, now go back to your friends and have fun. And say hi to Sean from me” she said lovingly.

They hung up, Felix felt tears falling down his cheeks. Happy And relieved tears. His mom really was the best. He sat down by the table to catch his breath and wiping his years away. not wanting to go back to the others whit tears falling down his cheeks 

Sean, Dan and Phil had heard him speaking to his mom but didn’t understand a word because Felix was speaking in swedish. Sean was nervous of how his mom would take it. He wanted to be there for Felix but Phil insisted that he needed to do that alone and have some privacy. After a few minutes hearing him speak they noticed it was quiet in the kitchen now and they heard a quiet sob. Sean jumped up from the couch looked over to Phil who nodded encouraging to go for it.

Sean sprinted over to the kitchen, he stopped in the doorway, the door was open and Felix sat by the table whit his head resting in his hands. Sean quietly walked over feeling a lump in his troth and carefully hugged him from the side. “don’t cry love, I am here” he whispered not knowing what to do. “I am okey, it’s okey.. its not sad tears.” Felix said pulling away a bit to look into Sean’s eyes and kiss him. Sean let out o breath of relieve. It felt like he hadn’t let the air out for hours.

“oh i thought..” Sean tried but Felix was kissing him again. “my mum is the best, you should have heard. I said something like ‘I am dating someone’ And then she asked what HIS name was. I didn’t even have to explain. She knows me to well, and she is very happy for me fully crying in the end. I think it runs in the family the happy crying..” Felix rambled on laughing. “she also says hi” Felix continued happy. Sean wiping away Felix last tears now smiling lovingly at his boyfriend. “oh she really is the best those few times I have seen her she has been so nice.” Sean said. “I love you Sean ” Felix said quiet between kisses “I love you to” Sean answers. feeling the kisses got more heated. 

“HEY GUYS THERE IS A GUEST ROOM DOWN THE HALL” Dan shouted from the living room. “I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!!” Dan continued “ouch what the hell” Dan getting punched in his side by Phil. “babuse” Dan said laughing. Now getting his boyfriend back attacking him whit tickles.  
“well same to you two dorks” Felix said laughing when he went in to the living room seeing Dan and Phil tackling each other whit tickles and kisses.  
Dan and Phil sat up in the sofa smirking. “so I thought we could play some board games and order some food, i reaally don’t have the energy to cook and i don’t think Dan has either” Phil said looking over to Dan. “nope take-away sounds great for me” Sean said and Felix nodded.

“what do you want to drink? beer, wine, cola.. I know you to are whiskey dorks but that I don’t have..” Phil said when the food he arrived. “same great coke taste but zero sugar, but now whit a hint of added vanilla?!" Sean laughed. " no but wine sounds good, ha and one day we are learning you the beauty of whiskey” Sean said smiling.

After they ate, they played some board games. Several wine glasses later it was getting late in night. Sean laying down whit his head on Felix shoulder kissing small kisses in Felix neck. feeling a bit buzzed and the alcohol making him a bit more clingy, he knew he was but not bothering it knowing only Dan and Phil would see. they where possibly most understanding. “you two can stay over in the guest bedroom if you want” Phil said smiling looking over to both Sean and Felix. “yeah I think we will” Felix said and thanking Phil, they had a bit much to drink and walking to the train station and sitting on a train, whit Sean not flirting all over Felix was not going to happen. Felix had always known that Sean got extra flirty and clingy when he had something to drink. He thought back specific on one time, the cringemas live stream, they all had some to drink but Sean a bit to much an was all over Felix. Felix laughs back to it of how obvious it was that Sean let his guards down a bit that day, and his crush for him peeked out. So obvious now. But then he thought it was just the whiskey speaking.

“what are you laughing at?” Sean said scooting closer on the sofa, now almost in Felix lap. “oh no nothing just that you get so cute and clingy when you drink” Felix said smiling. “oh i am not!” Sean said. “so uh cringemas then.. what was that?” felix smiled teasingly “and that time after we drank whiskey and some beers, you barely could control your hands, good thing I wasn’t alone whit you because I wonder what would have happend ” Felix said laughing “it’s your fault, it is you that is so damn cute and handsome” Sean said kissing Felix.

“ughmm” Dan fake coughs. “you two are cute and all but there is a guestroom” Dan said smirking.  
“oh no Felix we have a homophobe in the room!” Sean joked and laughs.  
“oh no no we all know I am the gayest of all of us here” Dan said laughing.  
“true he must be jealous then, we better go before it gets to much for him” Felix said jokingly to Sean.  
“goodnight lovebirds” Dan and Phil said when they left.

“we should also go to bed love” Phil said leaning over to Dan to kiss him. “but I don’t feel like sleeping jet” Dan pouted. “we can continue watching tv in the bedroom” Phil tried and stood up reaching out a hand for Dan to get up. “okey then” Dan said smiling.

Both Dan and Phil cuddled up to each other under the duvet. Both naked, like they always slept, why bother having clothing on when you could be naked, watching a film. Dan laying whit his head on Phil's chest. Feeling the chest of Phil rise and fall calming. Dan trailing his fingers over Phil’s chest and stomach, feeling Phil’s hard nipples. Dan pinched them teasingly. Now trailing his fingers over his thighs and hip avoiding his cock.

“mm what ya doing love” Phil said calmly. “just making you feel good” Dan whispered i a low voice. Both now kissing each other longingly. Dan reaching over to the lube in the night stand. “I need you inside me” Dan said smirking, giving Phil the lube. “o well i think I can help you whit that, but on one condition you need to keep it quite. no loud moaning and shouting we have guests” Phil said and kissing Dan both breathing heavy. Knowing that Dan normally was loud. “yes I will do my best, now get on whit it” Dan said breathing heavy, pressing his now hard cock against Phil’s. "trying your best is not enough, one sound and i will stop end leave you hanging, i wont bother even if you are close" Phil said strictly. Dan swallowed hard and nods, his cock twitched on Phils demanding voice. "i will count that as a yes" phil smirked.

Phil poured some lube on his fingers and whit the other hand he spread Dans cheeks, he teased around the rim of dans hole whit his lubed fingers. he could see dan holding his moanes already, biting his lips. He pressed one finger in slowly, wanting to tease but not make it to unbearable for Dan. He was tight it was a few days ago he had been the bottom one. But Dan liked the small burn and feeling the stretch. Phil pressed in a second finger when he felt ready, siccoring him open and curling his fingers looking for that fire lightning spot. he found it quickly enough after so many years he could do this in his sleep. pressing lightly at his prostate, Dan moaned loud at the feeling and pressing himself down on Phil’s fingers. phil pulled out his fingers immediately, dan whined of the loss. “you where doing so good” Phil cooed kissing and sucking his neck "i really want to continue but i don't know if you are worth it after that" phil said sitting up a bit. “please, need more.. mhh” Dan panting heavy.

Phil really couldn't stand how sexy Dan was, panting and flushed over just that, he bent forward again and pushed two fingers inside him. dan muffled his moan by biting down on his lip. Phil pressed in one more finger and now brushing over his prostate every time he trusted his fingers in and out. Phil pulled out his fingers when he felt like he was ready. Dan gave a small whimper of the emptiness it gave him. Phil poured lube over his own cock. 

"get up and ride me, want you to ride me, have my cock deep inside of you" phil said in a low whispering husky voice. it was there favorite position, Dan loved riding Phil. Loved seeing Phil come. And kiss him during it all. He loved felling Phil’s cock deep inside him. phil knew this but he also knew it was even harder for Dan to hold it together and be quite.

He positioned Phil’s cock to his hole slowly pressing down. He had done it a thousand times but every time it felt like it was even better than last. He adjusted his hips a bit when he was fully down at Phil’s cock. Panting and small small moans escaped from dan, phil gripped his hips tight to warn him. Phil pulled Dan down to him a bit so he could reach mouth whit his fingers. “open” Phil said pulling on his jaw a bit. Dan obeyed and opened his mouth slightly. Phil put in two fingers. “suck on them and keep quiet” Phil said demanding. Dan did as he was told quickly. “good boy now keep sucking”

Dan loved it when Phil took the lead and was a bit dominant. It wasn’t often but when he did Dan could almost come from those dominant words. Phil trusted up in to Dan. "you like my big cock in you like this don't you" Phil whisperer in Dans ear. Phil feeling close to the edge of coming, and by the look on dan he wasnt far from it either. Phil wanted to try something they hadn’t done in a long time. “babe you think you can come without touch” Phil whispered. Dan nodded still sucking Phil’s fingers and swallowing around them. Phil knew what to do to make that happen. Phil pinched Dan nipples whit his free hand and twisting lightly. “you are so beautiful when you obey me like this, you are so thight around my cock, taking me so good” Phil whispered hungrily. Dan sucking down harder on Phil’s fingers to keep quiet."such a big cock slut, taking me like this" phil continued, dans body shaking phil trusting up in to his prostate hard every time. “so good baby boy, now come for me, want to see you come” Phil continued feeling he could not hold it for long now. Dan came hard seconds later, and Phil came almost at the same time feeling Dan's hole tighten around his cock. Phil pulled Dan down now fully panting trough his high, he stopped sucking Phil’s fingers and deep moans escaped from his mouth. Phil pressed Dans face in to his chest to muffle the moans. 

“Do you think they heard us?” Dan asked after they cleaned up and now where laying in bed again.  
“don’t know about us but yeah they probably heard you you spoon” Phil said kissing small kisses around on Dan's face.  
“you know what, I really don’t mind it was so worth it” Dan said smiling.  
“yeah and I love you” Phil said already half asleep.  
“love you to” Dan answered back lovingly.  
Dan thinks back to the days they first met. And how they fell in love, how everybody always says that the newly first love bliss will fade away after time. He looks over to Phil study’s his face centimeter by centimeter, he still feels those butterflies in his body just looking at him. He feels so lucky to have him in his life.  
“you remember our first days together, you know I still feel the same every time I kiss you or just look at you. How people say that ‘the newly first love bliss will fade away’. I think I still am in that bliss, it never went away. You are perfect” Dan murmurs In a low voice.  
Phil who was almost falling asleep open his eyes just enough to look at Dan. “you are a big sap you know that right” Phil giggles and gives him a kiss.  
“but you love it” Dan teases  
“Yeah I do” Phil smiles “And i feel the same way for you babe” he whispers back.

Meanwhile Felix and Sean where about to fall asleep when they heard quite muffled moaning and rhythmic panting from the other room. “omg they really don’t care anymore huh” Sean laughed and covered his ears whit a pillow. “who do you think is the loud one?” Felix laughs. “obvious it is Dan” Sean giggles.  
“why am i thinking it sounds hot, wonder what they are doing” Felix says and blushes by the thought of it.  
Sean takes the pillow away from his ears, looks at Felix whit wide eyes and hears Dan (or phil) panting and moaning louder and faster. The sounds sound a bit muffled, Sean’s mind now imagining Felix making those sounds for him.  
“Well knowing Dan a bit to well it’s probably some kinky stuff” Felix answers himself laughing. Sean not really listening anymore, he swallows hard by the thoughts on his mind, having Felix over him and fucking him hard. Slapping him feeling the burn on his ass. Felix dominating all of it. Felix man handling him in bed. Sean obeying everything Felix wants. He swallows one more time, trying to calm down.  
“what ya thinking about love? You alright?” Felix heard Sean swallow hard a few times but in the dark it is hard to read his face.  
“uh-i-uh I was thinking about uhm me and you, doing some more..” Sean stutters and feels his whole face going red. Then he feels a hand on his cheek and a light kiss on his lips. He melts in to the feeling and relaxes again.  
“and what is that more you are talking about?” Felix said lovingly rubbing his thumb over Sean’s cheek.  
Sean doesn’t want to confess his deepest kinks what he wants to do, he is not ready for that yet. One day he will..  
“uhm you stretching me whit your fingers and fucking me” Sean whispers not wanting to confess more.  
“mmh I like that too, you think you are ready for that step?” Felix blushes of Sean’s bold confession.  
“Yeah I I have you know done some things whit my self, I was curios how it felt so I bought a dildo” Sean now fully blushing again.  
“mm so you have, how did that feel Then?” Felix was surprised by what Sean said but he was also very interested to know, he himself never discovered that whit himself yet.  
“weird but when I got past that weird feeling it was.. something totally incredible” Sean whispers in Felix ear whit a low sexy voice.  
Felix got the shivers of that trough his whole spine. He swallowed hard and feels his cock growing.  
Sean noticed what those words did to Felix, he teased Felix and kissed him on his head and said goodnight.  
“ugh you are a big tease, but yeah goodnight love” Felix said laughing.

Felix wakes up feeling hot but so comfy. He feels a leg and a arm wrapped around him from behind Sean kissing his neck. “happy birthday babe” Sean murmurs.

Then there is knocking on the bedroom door, “is it safe to walk in or will my eyes be burnt from my friends having some kinky as morning” Dan teases.  
“Yeah it is safe, get your kinky as in here” Felix said laughing.  
Dan and Phil walk in singing happy birthday whit a plate of cupcakes.  
“omg thank you, is it now I thank that I have 2 wholesome kinky daddys” Felix said cry laughing of the sight.  
All of them now laughing. “what was it I said.. you where way to loud!” Phil hissed towards Dan.  
“it’s fine, now give me my damn cupcakes!” Felix whined.  
“Yeah of course stop whining you big baby” Dan said reaching over his cupcakes.  
“thanks daddy” Felix teased laughing  
“omg get a room you two” Sean said laughing shaking his head. 

 


	7. Chapter 7

When they closed the door behind them, just being the two of them again. Sean jumped his boyfriend kissing him lovingly, the kiss got much more heated fast. Sean pinned Felix body to the wall in the hallway, taking his hands and placing them above his head. Tongs twisting in each others mouths, fighting for dominants. Both braking from each other for air. “bedroom?” Sean asked fed up not finding more words. Felix nodded eagerly.

On the way down the hall, Felix phone rings. Felix taking up his phone, seeing it was his mom. “sorry” Felix said apologetic and answers his phone.  
“It’s okey” Sean mouthed and gave a kiss on Felix cheek. He took his bag whit Felix presents and went in to the kitchen to wrap the gifts. He was feeling satisfied what he found fore him.

Felix turned up in the kitchen just when Sean was ready whit wrapping them.  
Sean looked lovingly over to felix just standing in the door to the kitchen, how the fuck did he get so lucky whit this beautiful man. he really didn't think he ever would understand that. felix walked over to sean giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "so had your mother something important to say?" sean asked softly. " nah she just wanted to say happy birthday and saying she is proud of me and misses me." Felix said smiling. 

“okey so do we order in some food or do you want to get out and eat? or... take up where we left up in the bedroom?” Sean asked cheekily.  
“can we just stay at home, I want to be whit you, just you and me. Cuddling whit some takeout, and then maybe take up where we left of” Felix said to Sean and hugged him tight. “also my mum says hi, she wonders when she gets to meet you properly"  
“mm what should we order? Pizza? And yeah well it’s not like she never met me but yeah maybe we can make a visit some day if you want that?”  
“yeah she said so to, but it feels difrent now that you are official a family member she said. Yeah maybe we can visit for Christmas? I really like to celebrate Christmas in Sweden and show you a real swedish feast” Felix said happily and eager. “and pizza sounds perfect for a lazy evening” he continued.  
“wow you ready to introduce me to your whole family?” Sean asked a bit in chock he wants that, knowing his Swedish Christmases are big whit not only his parents and siblings, it is cousin’s and all the long related extended family.

“Yeah of course, and it’s more then 2 months away so we don’t need to decide yet, and only if you are okay whit that, and ready fore that.” Felix said lovingly.  
“Yeah I love to meet every one, how about social media? Do you think they will respect our decision on not sharing it online?” Sean asked a bit worried.  
“I have talked to them about it last Christmas about not sharing photos or updates of me online without asking me. And all of them respected that, i think 2 of my cousins are gonna die when they hear you are gonna come for Christmas, they are big fans of you.. yeah me they are related to but barely watch and care about.. but you tho, they are hooked. Last Christmas they interviewed me whit every detail of what you and I do as friends and ask if I had info of you nobody knew about. I told them about us getting hammered every so often and some other embarrassing stuff, I only shared them on one condition that it stayed between us. And I have not seen a word online about it so they hold their promises.” Felix said laughing  
“what the hell! Omg what if they shared that online, you are a mad lad!” Sean chuckled.  
“but they didn't” Felix winked  
“Yeah well okay I think it will be okay then, looking forward to meet them all. You should teach me some Swedish so I can impress your fam” Sean said happy  
“I can, but you don’t need to impress them, I think they will like you even if you don't” Felix said lovingly.  
“thanks love” Sean kissed Felix.

“now open your presents” Sean said exited pushing them in to Felix.  
Felix eagerly opened the first one, a soft one. It’s a dark blue kappa sweater white text over sleeves and neck line. “omg I love it, how did you know I wanted this?” Felix said curios. “I may or may not have looked at your computer some days ago when you went to the toilet. and saw that tab open of the sweater. So I hope you didn’t buy it your self..” Sean said grinning big. “what you little shit you where snooping around on my computer" felix said in a sarcastic hurt voice. " but, no it was out of stock every where in my size” felix said smiling.  
Felix opened the next one. A flat big rectangular one. Felix opened it and was speechless, it was an abstract art peace of him and Sean, it was beautiful and colourful, standing in a field and looking out over the horizon having a arm over each others shoulders. “how?” Felix whispered and choked up whit tears.  
“a fan painted it, she has made fan art for me before and I contacted here if she could do one of me and you. For my best friends birthday I explained to her, explained what i wanted the message to be behind it, best friends supporting each other trough life, even the most difficult and dark times we will guide each other trough it whit the light shining on the other side.” Sean blushed and scratched his neck.  
“ wow I love it, omg she is so talented! I really love it! and i love your meaning behind it, a bit sappy, but i love it” Felix murmured reaching over to Sean and giving him a light kiss.

After pizza they are now cuddled up close in the couch chest to chest legs intertwined whit each other, the tv on in the background, they laid there just looking at each other and leaving small kisses on the other.  
the kisses soon got more heated, Felix hands traveling down under Seans shirt, feeling his hot naked skin on his fingertips. “bedroom?” Sean asked whit a raspy voice. Felix nodded and stood up, and pulled up Sean from the couch.

Sean pushed Felix down on the bed gently so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Kissing him whit heat and lust. He pulled up Felix t-shirt and pulling it over his head. Sean pulled of his own t-shirt trowing it behind him. Both locking eyes the whole time, kissing sloppy kisses. Felix couldn't get enough of Sean’s lean body, and was running his fingers over Sean’s chest. Sean pushed down Felix to his back. Kissing Felix chest and down to the hem of Felix jeans. Running his fingers over Felix hard bulge in his jeans. Felix let out a breathy moan, shuddering from the light touches sean gave him. Sean unbuttoned Felix slowly almost teasingly slow. Felix lifted his hips in the air to make it easier for Sean to pull down his jeans. Sean pulled down the jeans and boxers in one, Felix cock fully hard sprung free out of his boxers. Sean kissed the inside of Felix thighs teasing around his cock. Felix cock and body twitching wanting some release. “oh god feels so good” Felix said between his hitched breaths. Sean looked up “you are so beautiful like this, al worked up” he murmured.  
He felt himself fully hard and whit an aching cock, his jeans way to tight. He unbuttoned his jeans and took them of and his boxers following down whit them, he let out a small moan from the release. Felix still laying down on the edge of the bed legs dangling down. Sean bent over Felix kissing his chest down to the base of his cock. Liking up and over the tip, tasting the precum on his tong. He sucked down on Felix in one motion. Felix gripping the sheets almost coming from that directly. “jävlar fan so fucking good” Felix mumbled between his moany breaths. Sean sucked down more, hitting against his troth, Felix gripping Sean’s hair. Felix moaned loudly feeling Sean’s warm mouth and tong around his cock.  
Sean lifted his head and loved seeing Felix totally out of it, hearing him whimper from the loss of Sean touching him. He wanted to try new things and make him feel even better.

“scoot down a bit babe” Sean said lovingly. Felix obeyed and slid down. Sean knelled down between his legs and kissed the inside of Felix thighs. “want to try something new, just say if I need to stop or if it is to much” Sean said in a low lovingly tone between kisses. “mm yeah okey” Felix answers.  
Sean takes Felix legs and put them over his shoulders and places his hands on Felix ass spreading his cheeks. He feels Felix tense. “just relax babe, not gonna hurt you, i have a feling you going to like this” he feels him relax a bit. Sean lapped his thong lightly over Felix hole. “uhmf” felix panted loudly and jerked up in to the air “you liked that?” Sean said in a teasing voice. He knew by the sounds Felix gave he liked it but he wanted to hear it. “yeah o omg yes, weird but good weird” he panted. Sean continued the same things a few times pressing his tong more and more around the rim of his hole. 

“you ready for more? Want to try whit a finger?” Sean asked whit a husky voice. “ye yes I am ready” Felix managed to say between his panting. “scoot up and get comfy, I am gonna get the lube” Sean said kissing down on Felix chest “so so beautiful” Sean murmured before he got up to his feet and walked over too the bedside table. He coated his fingers in it and warmed it up. He hovers over Felix placing him self between Felix legs, kissing his inside thighs and giving his cock a few light strokes. Felix moaned loudly at the much needed attention too his cock. “I am just gonna put one finger in a bit, if you want more you just say so and please for the love of god tell me if it is to much. It is gonna feel weird in the beginning but just relax and try not to think to much about it” Sean said lovingly trying to get Felix as relaxed as possible. He trailed his finger lightly around Felix rim. Whit the other hand he stroke Felix cock slowly. He pushed in a finger half way slowly. Felix now quiet and stopped moaning. “you okey or should stop?” Sean asked concerned. 

“helvete, just shut up! Just let me get used to it.” Felix said his voice more annoyed then what he meant “sorry uhm just hang on love” Felix continued. “it’s ok, I am just concerned to hurt you, I love you so much..” Sean said lovingly and understanding. He kissed down on Felix chest and up in to his neck sucking a mark. Felix now relaxing more and focusing on Sean’s mouth and other hand lightly stroking at his cock. “ok ready” Felix said whimpering. Sean pushed in more till his whole finger was in Felix. He let him adjust again but this time Felix relaxed faster. “ok if I move?” Sean asked. Felix nodded biting his lip. Sean moved his finger in and out and curled his finger a bit trying to find his prostate, after a few minutes, Jackpot. Felix response was a loud deep moan “fan I helvete what the even..”. “good eh?!” Sean said smirking down on his boyfriend. Remembering how strangely good it felt for him the first time he discovered that. He rubbed over it again. “yes omg yes” Felix moaned loudly. Sean continued thrusting his finger in and out hitting Felix prostate. He bent down and sucked down on Felix red and twitching cock. Felix screaming over all the stimulation he came seconds later whit loud moans and screaming Swedish words. He really needed to learn some basic Swedish. Felix body shaking out the orgasm Sean swallows around his cock. And slowly take his finger out of felix hole. He laid down next to Felix pulling him in a close hug. Sean was fully hard and urging for some release but it could wait for now he just wanted to hold his boyfriend close.

Felix breathing was slowing down coming back from his high. He opened his eyes “I- just have now words just wow, that was amazing. You are amazing” Felix murmured. “good birthday present then eh?” Sean said smirking. “the best”. “babe just come here I want a cuddle” Sean said blushing over Felix nice words.  
Felix scooted in closer feeling Sean’s still hard dick. Felix giggled “hm did someone feel left out?” Felix said in a teasing voice looking down and speaking towards Sean’s cock. He took Sean’s hard aching dick in his hand and stroke it softly. "you are so beautiful, everything about you is so beautiful inside and out" Felix praised over Sean. Sean was already near the edge after the soft few strokes Felix gave him and those words praising over him it was something new, who would have tought that he maybe had a praise kink. “ughmp close”. Felix picked up the pace and continued praising him whit words. Sean came over his hand seconds later, stroking him trough his orgasm. 

The following days flew by, both getting more comfortable whit each other. Talking, laughing, cuddling.  
They are both getting dressed for Felix birthday party. They invited their closest friends. Most of them knew Sean had moved in, but some of those didn’t know about their relationship. And a few didn’t even know he had moved from Ireland. They wouldn’t explain it if it didn’t come up, but if they asked they were not going to lie, all of them where close friends and they trusted them.  
Felix was wearing his new kappa sweater and some black jeans. Sean had his super skinny jeans on and was deciding between a black hoodie or his light brown sweater whit holes. “I like the light brown one more” Felix said pecking him on his cheek, when he saw him having a hard time deciding. Felix loves when Sean wears his super skinny jeans, his ass looked so great in them.  
“mm come here my sexy boyfriend” Felix pulled Sean in to a kiss squeezing his butt. “mm can only say the same love”. Felix pulled in Sean closer the kiss getting more heated. Sean’s arms where thight around felix waist sneaking in under his sweater.

*knock nock*  
“ugh do I need to open?” Felix looks between the door and Sean, wanting to stay in Seans arms forever.  
“Mmh I think it would be a bit rude to not to" Sean answers smiling. Feeling warm inside, the way felix wanted to stay in his arms.

Felix opened the door, “hey birthday boy, feeling old yet?" Dan said teasing pulling him in to a hug. “ Haha very funny Dan”.  
“Hey felix, happy birthday again" Phil said hugging felix. “thanks, come in you two, you are the first guests to arive" felix took a step back and gestured to get in.

“Do you want anything to drink?” felix asked both Dan and Phil. “A beer is good for me” Phil said “yeah me to" Dan said happily.  
All sipping on their beers, “so we have 2 gifts one you can open in front of people but the other one well you might open that now before they arive" Dan said passing over the gifts. “what do you mean WE, this is all you Howell" Phil said grinning. “oh no Phil, don't act all innocent now you took part in this to" Dan said grinning a bit awkward.  
“So how afraid should I be?” felix asked slowly opening the suspicious gift.  
The now unwrapped gift in his lap, a black small box. In the box was a vibrator, but plug and a silky blindfold. Felix feeling a blush creeping up his neck and face. Sean looked over his shoulder, curios of what it was. “oh" Sean gasped a bit. Both laughing " you two are really som kinky bastards you that huh" felix said laughing akward.  
“We know. Its just some off the things me and Phil like the most..” Dan said now feeling a bit awkward about this.  
“Oh my gosh Dan TMI!!” Felix shut the box and laughed.  
Now all of them laughing, Felix stood up shaking his head “yeah like i said, you two are some kinky shits" looking over at Dan and Phil. And walked over to his bedroom tucking the box away under his bed.  
Coming back in to the room he heard knocking on the door again.

now most guest had arrived, the living room being full of people. Brad and sive, Felix editors. PJ, Sofie, Marzia and Signe, Joel, all Felix close friends he had known since he moved to Brighton years ago. It felt nice to only have his closest friends here, knowing he could relax and be himself. He laughed a bit to himself when he realized that everyone here besides his editors Brad and sive they all where couples and yes of course Joel also. PJ and sofie where already a couple when he became friends whit them. Marzia and Signe, started dating about a year ago, truth is it was PJ and felix putting them together. Felix knew marzia, he had worked whit here on some merch clothing. And PJ had worked whit singe how was sketching new logos whit PJ. After hearing they both where gay they knew they would click right away. And they did. They where great together. And then of course Dan and Phil, internet’s best power couple as Felix called them.

Several hours later of playing board games, and many beers, whiskey and wine glasses later. Felix was finding it more and more difficult to resist pining Sean down in the couch and kiss him deeply. Sean really didn’t make it easier for Felix in those tight Jeans, every curve of his legs and ass where visible. Sean noticed felix staring, his eyes hazy from alcohol clearly undressing him. Sean wondering what Felix was thinking right now, he clearly looked needy and horny. Sean leaned over to his ear “Should we tell them?” he whisper in Felix ear. Felix shivered of the air brushing against his ear. “yeah can i kiss you after that, i really just can’t stand you in those Jeans anymore" Felix whispered back in a low tone. “ha yeah i can tell by the way you have been staring" Sean laughed quite “but keep it at a kiss, the rest will have to wait when everyone has gone home" Sean grinned sheepishly. Felix gulped and blushed of the straight forward words.

Sean took a sip from his beer and cleared his throat to get attention from the rest of the guests.  
“So as some of you already know, I am moving in whit Felix" Sean looked over and put his arm around him to pull him closer. “And whit Felix I mean my totally truly wonderful boyfriend" Sean beamed proud.  
After all their friend congratulated them, giving nice and encouraging words. They continued in the conversations they had before, it felt nice to have such understanding and down to earth friends, not making a big deal out of it, Felix thought. He couldn’t help but smile about the thought.  
Sean saw Felix looking happy and relieved, truly from the inside out happy. Sean leaned over and gave him a kiss. “you look happy".  
“Mmh that’s because I realize how lucky I am, to have you and my amazing friends” Felix murmured, kissing Sean back.

The weekend was over quick, having friends around, and just enjoying their weekend of from work. 

“so you ready for this?” felix sat next to Sean by his desk. Ready to upload his first video in the new space. The video was great Sean started the video whit explaining he moved to Brighton, not talking about why but more about the experience around it.  
“Yeah nervous but ready" Sean said pressing on making the video public.  
Both where silent a couple of minutes, Sean scooted closer to Felix and laid his head on his shoulder. He sighed relieved and happy.  
“Should we read through the comments or let it be?” Felix said softly. He knew there would be some negative stuff said, because many of the fans always where scared of change. But he thought it would be good for Sean to also see how supportive his fans always are.  
“I don’t know.. can you look?” Sean mumbled. He really was trying to not let negative comments get to him, but sometimes it was hard. Today he felt like he needed more support then ever.

Felix opened up the comment section, scrolled through and of course 90% of the comments where positive, supporting and excited.  
“So you should totally read these, they are so nice about it and they see how happy you look" Felix said poking Sean’s cheek to make him open his eyes. “and yeah there are some jelix shippers beaming right now also..” felix laughed. “and of course we have the Phandom in the comments also, they are hoping for collabs" Felix continued smiling over to Sean who started reading whit him.  
“Ha the phandom is really in every corner of the internet aren’t they" Sean laughed.  
It felt nice to read through the comments, so many supportive fans. He liked a few and then turned the computer of. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

A few weeks go by. They feel truly happy, time goes fast when you spend it whit your best friend and partner. They try not to be out in public so much together, when they do they do it on a week day when not so many people are out in the streets. It’s crazy how life can be this easy, they know each other so well, they don’t even have to say certain things whit words to know what the other means.

Felix is so truly grateful for his life right now, yeah of course some days he still feels down and depressed but Sean the sunshine of his life will pull him through, just by bending there and looking after him.

They are sat in the car, felix driving, Sean next to him. Heading over to the train station to pick up Dan and Phil. They managed to plan a weekend get away to a cabin in the woods. They haven’t seen or being able to hang out since Felix birthday. They missed hanging out, but they really had been working their asses of. They planned on a internet free weekend. No tweets no insta that they where away or hanging out whit each other. Their had been some debate about felix and Sean being romantically involved. But they ignored it, they had really no ground to go on further than they knew Sean moved to Brighton. There was no proof that they lived together. But it was already calming down, they had really nothing to go on. It felt nice to have some privacy, the fans didn’t need to know about everything.

They parked by the train station, it was mid day so it was quite right now, kids where in school and that meant smaller change to be recognized. But they stayed in the car waiting for Dan and Phil. Just to be on the safe side.  
Few minutes later and they saw the 2 tall guys strolling towards the car, they where hard to miss. Freakishly tall felix called them sometimes, not that he was insecure of his height tho..

“Hey guys” felix jumped out of the car and opened the booth of his car. Good thing he had chosen to take his big Volvo today because they really had packed way to much, and also he really didn’t think Dan and Phil would fit in the back of his mini.

“Hey felix, long time no see" Phil said hugging felix. “yeah way to long, but the needy boyfriend takes all of my spare time so-“. “hey I heard that!” Sean shouted from his seat. Both laughing. “yeah I can relate to that, I am in the same situation” Phil said laughing “eyy! Am not!” Dan whined and shoved his hand in Phil’s side. “weeeell you where a needy little shit this morning in bed-” Phil said quite grinning and made an attempt to wink. “okay okay I dont want to hear more than that, my innocent ears will fall off" Felix said shaking his head laughing. “Just get in the car before someone recognizes us"

After a few hours of driving, getting more and more in time the country side and the forest, they drove a small bumpy road to the cabin.

“You sure it is the right way?" Dan said to Sean who was reading directions. “Yeah it should be around the next corner"  
When they drove around the corner they all where in complete silence mouths hanging open of the beautiful sight, a small lake whit a little wooden cabin, just down by the lake there was a fire place whit benches and a small little house, they jumped out of the car all of them excited. it was cold and crispy in the air, all of them taking deep breaths enjoying the fresh and clean forest air. Felix strolled down to the small lake while the others started unpacking the car.

“Omg there is a sauna!!” Felix shouted excited when he reached the small house by the lake. “and there is a hot tub!” it was a old classical wooden Swedish hot-tub you warmed up whit fire.

“I thought you would like it" Sean murmured when he got over to felix. “the place is owned and built by a Swedish guy” Sean explained. He had been a bit secretive when he booked it, just to see felix face light up when they arrived. He knew he would love it and he was so right. Felix jumped in to Sean’s arms hugging him thight and made them almost fall over “best surprise ever, I love you" felix murmured in to Sean neck kissing light kisses. “Love you to" Sean giggled.

“Hey you lovebirds, should we get inside, my ass is freezing of soon" Dan shouted over to them. Both Felix and Sean blushed when they realized they where being watched.

It was small and cozy inside, 2 bedrooms a small kitchen and a living room whit big windows towards the lake. It was furnished whit modern things but whit a old Swedish wooden style.  
“omg phew okay we can survive here” Dan blurted when he saw the big TV whit xbox and comfy sofa. “Haha yeah I mean okey for not having internet fore a whole weekend but no way we would survive without TV and video games” Sean laughed.

“What are the plans for tonight?” Phil asked curios. “I was thinking first we relax a bit, one or two of us start making some dinner and the others maybe start the sauna and make a fire by the lake?” Sean explained.  
“Sounds good, I can cook the food, who wants to help me?” felix offers, he really likes to cook. “I can help whit that" Dan offers.

“Sounds good, me and Phil will fix all the things by the lake then.” Sean beamed happy. He stood up heading over to the fireplace in the big living room, starting a fire. Just seconds later he was ready and the warmth of the fire was spreading around in the cabin. “wow that was the most manly and most stereotypical thing I have seen you do, I am impressed" Dan said laughing. “hey hands of Dan he's mine!” Felix said laughing. “well the day you want to share your manly man I am here you know" Dan said jokingly, but in the back of his mind he was not joking all the way..

Phil and him had som dirty kinks and always wanted to try a threesome or even whit a other gay couple. They had made some light jokes towards felix in the past about joining them, but it was all jokes then, well that was what felix always thought. Dan and Phil had talked about it serious some times, talked about which friends they could think to do that whit. And felix was one of them, they had tried whit PJ also, it almost happened but then he had chickened out. After that they didn’t try to push him in to it again.

Phil didn’t say anything, he knew that there was some truth behind Dan’s joke, and it was almost like felix felt it to. By the looks felix gave them he might sense the realness in Dan’s joke.

Sean sat down in the sofa again between them. Soon they laid down, A friends episode playing on the tv whit the audio low. Dan and Phil on one side and Sean and Felix on the other. They hummed all feeling relaxed of the crackling of the fire. It was like time stood still, all the stress left their bodies and all of them sighing of the nice feeling. Having their loved ones in their arms and able to be them self. “can we stay like this forever” Dan said so soft the others almost didn't hear it.

Suddenly they woke up out of their trans when Phil’s stomach grumbled hard and angry. “i think my body wants food" Phil said laughing. “yeah you needy shit of course it wants food, well we better shall start then" Dan stood up giving Phil a small kiss on his forehead.

“So what are we cooking?” Dan asked when Felix and him arrived in the kitchen. “was thinking Salmon whit sweet potatoes and some greens in the oven, and a white wine sauce whit it. Also I thought we can make dessert, was thinking a pie whit berries and vanilla sauce.” Felix said whilst getting everything out of the fridge. “ wow okay, I really have never cooked any of that so you need to guide the newbie here" Dan said. “you can start by chopping the bell peppers, carrots and potatoes, like this" Felix showed the size he needed to cut all of it. “And i will start whit the sauce then" felix explained.

“You know I must say I am a bit in impressed, I knew you could cook I have heard, but not like this" Dan said impressed. “well thanks but keep the compliments for after when you have eaten” felix laughed.

Both fell silent doing their thing. Felix pours two wine glasses, giving one to Dan. “skål.” Both say raising their glasses. Dan knew a few Swedish words and cheers was one of them.

“Soo.. how are you and Sean doing, everything still good? You seem really happy together" Dan said soft.  
“Yeah it’s crazy how good things are, he really is amazing.” Felix smiled thinking about the great weeks they have had. “he inspires me to make every day better, he makes me happy, he really is amazing in all ways, and then I mean all ways.” Felix said winking whit a big smile.  
“Wow okay, not gonna lie a little bit of my brain would really want to know about that” Dan laughed.  
“Yeah I know Dan, you are a kinky dirty little shit. I heard what you said earlier about Sean i also kind of know that that not was a joke, even if you tried to make it sound like one" Felix laughed shaking his head.

Dan looked over wide eyed, blushing heavy. “u uh I I yeah well maybe not" Dan stumbled on his words.  
“oh no So all those times you joked about me joining you and Phil, those where also no jokes you mean?” Felix mind wanders of to the times Dan had said somethings about that, now seeing it all.

“Ha yeah well there was some truth underneath them yeah" Dan said grinning still blushing a bit.  
“Well yeah, you need to be a bit clearer then next time, because I never knew you where serious, but yeah maybe it was a good thing, because my virgin little ass, Haha no pun intended, would have been soooo weirded out, and would have never come back" felix laughed and Dan joined in. feeling happy Felix could laugh about it. 

“omg I was a innocent little shit just a few months ago" felix laughed realising how more confident he felt talking about sex now. He would never have thought that so soon.  
“Hahah yeah no pun intened" Dan cry laughed

“and oh yeah maybe one day Dan, but for now we are fine just me and Sean. But yeah the day we get bored out we know where to turn.” Felix said chuckling  
“What?! so you are not weirded out about this?! What have you done whit my innocent friend?” Dan’s mind went crazy only by the thought of one day maybe his dirty fantasies can come true.  
“No Dan, it’s fine, but yeah not yet. But if I know my boyfriend right he has some deep fantasies to.” Felix laughed. 

Meanwhile when Dan and Felix went in to the kitchen, Sean and Phil put on their coats and went outside.

“we can wait whit starting the campfire, but we can start the fire in the tub and start the sauna. They will take some time to heat up” Sean explained.  
“I am amazed of how easy you make starting a fire look. I tried ones but it kept dying after a minute” Phil said while Sean started the fire in the hot tub.  
“Well yeah when I lived in the cabin in Ireland, the only heating I got was from the fireplace, so I was making them several times a day sometimes” Sean said thinking back to the cold mornings or night he woke up, the fire gone out and he woke up cold, body shaking. He got shivers from thinking back from those days.

They sat down on the bench, Sean getting up every few minutes checking the fire and putting in a new log sometimes.

“We really need to do this more often, it’s only a few hours we have been here, but its already the most relaxed dan and I have been in a long time.” Phil said happily.  
“Hm yeah Dan seems happy, and you to” Sean smiled over to Phil.  
“Yeah he has been having a hard time after the tour, he has really not been himself some days, it drains me to, I try but yeah some days I really feel that I am not enough. I really want to be there fore him but I only can do what I can.” Phil sighed heavy.

“Hey, its okay, I am sure he is more than grateful to everything you do, does he see a psychologist?” Sean asked softly.  
“Yeah he does, and it helps a lot. it’s just I hate to see him so down and depressed, it’s hard when you know how happy he is some days and then from nowhere the next day he is down, he doesn't want to eat or get out of bed. I have learned a few tricks after all this time, but this last month it has been worse then it has been in a long time. We are thinking about taking a break from the gaming channel, I think Dan needs a real break from all social media. It really gets to him sometimes" Phil sighed, but it felt nice to finally talk about this whit someone.  
“Sorry for just laying all this on you, I didn’t mean to taking this so deep, sorry" Phil continued feeling guilty that he was playing victim when it was nothing in compared to Dan.

“Hey no don't be sorry, I am here fore you and to listened. And you know it’s totally okay for you to see a psychologist to you know, when a person close to you is going through such hard time as Dan is doing it is fully normal to feel the things you do, you are doing your best taking care of Dan, but you need to take care of yourself to" Sean said sincerely laying a hand down on Phils shoulder.  
“Thanks Sean, yeah you have a point there, I will look in to that when I get home.”

“how is felix doing lately? He seems be doing good lately” Phil asked.  
“Yeah he is, he has had a few days feeling down and depressed, but he is doing very good, it’s nice to be there fore him, it was hard before when I lived in Ireland and he called me when he was having those days, all I wanted was to hug him and be there for him, now I can and it feels so good to be able to help him" Sean beamed.  
“Good to hear, yeah we have seen him down several times. Good he is doing better" Phil says happily

“we should go inside, I am freezing.” sean said shivering  
Phil side hugged Sean a little by surprise. “thanks for listening, it meant a lot to me" Phil said quite. “of course, you know where to find me if you feel like talking.” Sean smiled ensuring.

They closed the door quite behind them, hearing Felix and Dan talking. Both picking up the some words Felix was saying, aome words where Boyfriend and fantasies. Sean blushed.

“Ey what are you two talking about?” Phil asked curios walking over to the kitchen.  
Both felix and Dan turned quickly and looked wide eyed at their boyfriends.

“Uhm nothing, just cooking” Dan said flushed.  
“Okeey if you say so..” Phil said laughing looking between felix and Dan shaking his head. walking over to Dan and kissing him.  
“How is cooking going, it smells good in here" Phil continued changing the topic to ease the air.  
“It will be ready in just a few minutes" felix said while checking the potatoes.  
“I will make the table then" Sean said eagerly.

Sean made the table, poured 2 wine glasses for him and Phil. He joins them back in the kitchen when he was ready, giving the one glass to Phil. “cheers to a great weekend whit great friends" Sean murmured.

After a few minutes they where all sitting around the table eating.  
“Mmmhmffff" Dan moaned loudly.  
“You okay there love?” Phil laughed.  
“Oh yeah holy shit, I I just wow this is amazing felix" Dan said mouth full of food.  
“Ha thanks Dan, do we need to leave you in private and let you finish what you have going on" felix joked.  
“Well yeah I think I just developed a food kink" dan joked back.  
All of them broke down laughing.  
“Oi don’t kink shame me" Dan laughed.

All of them finish their meals and desserts. All landing in the couch, stomachs full and happy.  
They stayed like that for almost an hour. Sean went out a few times checking the fire in the tub. And starting the campfire.  
“The tub is getting warm now so I started the campfire, what do you say should we continue relax outside instead?” Sean said when he came inside the front door.  
“Yeah finally I have been looking forward to that all night.” Felix beamed and jumped out of the couch.

They took a pile of blankets and wrapped themselves in them. They all leaned back in the grass near the campfire and watched up at the dark sky, it was getting late and dark, almost no clouds in the sky, the stars shining bright.  
“Its strange how I feel when I look up at a starry sky, it feels so calming, we are just some small specks in the universe, it is so big out there, it’s the most wonderful feeling I get when I look up, it’s like time stops and I feel like floating, feel empty. Not empty in a bad way in particular but in a nice calming way. My brain stops overthinking, and I only feel the nice empty feeling. It’s just a nice perspective in life, how just a fucking sky can make me feel this way” Dan rambled in his thoughts out loud.

Nobody answers just hummed, Phil pulls him in closer, kissing him on his cheek. “I got you, you know that right” phil whispered, taking Dan’s hand and squeezed ensuring. “I will always be here to help you through, I love you" Phil continued whispering concerned. “I know love, and I love you so much for that, I am so happy to have you" Dan murmured back. Not wanting to think about how life would have been without Phil, not even sure if he would have made it so far in life without him. He shivered from the thoughts of that.

Phil felt him shiver, “you cold babe?” Phil pulled him in even closer in his arms “the tub maybe is warm enough if you want to get in" phil murmured  
“Only if you join me" Dan snickerd

“We are going to change and then we are going to relax in the tub" Phil explained while standing up and dragging Dan up. The others nodded

Not letting his hand go and dragging him inside. Pulling him in their bedroom and closing the door. And slamming Dan against it lapping his mouth sloppy kissing his sensitive neck. “wow where did this come from" Dan said flustered heavy breathing. “Just want you, want you to make you feel good" Phil explained between kisses.

“But I feel good, best I have done in a long time" Dan giggled.  
“Just shut up” Phil smiled “just let me make you feel a bit more good and empty you that you supposedly like so much" Phil murmured in a low husky voice, referring to Dan’s earlier confession about the stars in the sky.  
“Mmh yeah, oh yes please" Dan moaned loving the voice Phil got when he was horny and needy, feeling his cock getting harder by every kiss Phil left on his sensitive neck.

Phil unbuttoned Dan’s jeans and pulled both jeans and boxers down to his knees. Phil dropped to his knees and without warning he took the whole of Dan’s cock in his mouth. Now growing even harder and bigger in his mouth. He loved the feeling of Dan growing in his mouth. He soon enough was to big to have all of him in his mouth, he put his hand around the base of Dan’s cock, and moving it in the same speed as his mouth. Putting his other hand slapping on Dan’s bare ass. Dan moaned heavy, giving out small praising words to Phil. Phil hummed around Dan’s cock, knowing Dan loved the vibrations it gave. “Mmh close” Dan moaned. Phil pumped a bit faster knowing Dan liked it that way, pushing him in more whit his hand around him. “aagh yeah omg so good" dan moaned heavy when he came. Phil sucked him hard through his high. Slowly letting go, Lapping his tong and liking around his cock. Loving the taste of Dan, something he didn’t always used to do, but something that he grown to love after all these years.

Dan pulled him up and steps out of his own jeans, and backed him against the edge of the bed, pushing him down and unbuttoned his jeans, Phil lifted his hips so Dan could pull them down. Phil was already fully hard and leaking precum.  
“so beautiful” Dan murmured. Phil smiled not knowing if Dan meant his cock or Phil him self, or maybe it was both. Dan gestured him to scoot up and lie down. After 9 years there where no words needed what the other meant.  
Dan straddled Phils legs, one leg of each side of him, and he teased him kissing his thighs and around his cock. Phil whimpered and bucked up in the air for friction, and some relief on his acing cock. Dan started slow with liking and sucking only the tip of Phil’s cock. Pinning Phil’s hips down whit his hands, knowing Phil was eager for more and he then had no control over his hips.

Dan loved this, loved sucking dick. Almost loving it more to give then to receive. But only almost because Phil was great at sucking cock. But this was Dan’s thing, loved deep throathing Phil’s cock in his mouth so he could barely breathe. But to do that he needed to it right, start slow and ease his throat in to it, he took more and more of Phils cock now nudging his gag reflexes, key was to relax his throat so he didn’t gagg. He sucked up and down slowly a couple of times getting his throat get use to it, Phil was trying his best to lay still, gripping Dan’s hear and pulling it.

Dan remembered the first time Phil did that and how much he loved it, encouraging Phil to pull harder, Phil didn’t like to hurt Dan but Dan had a bit of a kink for pain when they had sex. Good pain not the heavy bdsm pain. Hair and nipple pulling and not being fully stretched when phil fucked him, it was a good pain he called it.

He picked up the speed sucking and twisting his tong, then he calmed down sucking only Phils tip and playing his thong around the tip and then in one motion slamming down hard Phils cock deep in his throat, tears watering in his eyes but he loved it, he could do this all day if he wanted, Phil well he was not complaining either, it was the few times phil went laud in bed, he usually was quite and could contain himself. But when Dan deep troathed him, he lost all senses of containing him self. Hips bucking eagerly and moaning loudly.

Dan let Phil’s hips go, it was the sign for Phil it was okay to mouth fuck Dan. Dan breathed in heavy trough his nose. Focusing on not gaging and to relax. Phil pushed Dan’s head down, holding a tight grip on his head. knowing exactly how much Dan could take. Phils cock was deep down Dans throat, Phil pushed and pulled on Dans head feeling his cock hitting deep down in Dans tight throat. Dan couldn't get much air anymore and was starting to get light headed. Phil looked down right in to Dans eyes, this was the hottest thing Phil knew. Without warning Phil was coming, deep down Dans throat. Phil slowed down riding through his high letting Dan go, both fully panting. Dan laid down next to Phil trying to get his breathing under control, but he felt how achingly hard he already was again. What he just did was not only the hottest thing Phil knew, it was it fore Dan to. Dan loved the feeling of almost passing out and having phil deep down his throat. It was Dans kink, well one of them all. He reached down to his cock and started jerking himself of when he felt phils hand batting him away and wanting to do the job for him. Phils hand felt slik and smooth around his cock, just the right speed and pressure. Phil lifted Dans balls and started to rub his thumb against his prostate. Just seconds later Dan was coming for the second time that evening. This wasn't something they did often and it wasn't often Dan got hard again after just coming. But when it happend he felt like floating and his body felt totally relaxed after. the down side whit this was always his sore throat after, it was always painfull and hard to speak the nearest hours and sometimes he could feel it for days after. 

“Love, sometimes I forget how amazing you are at that. I love you” Phil murmured. “Mm-“ Dan opened his mouth to speak but Phil kissed him before he had a change. “shhh I know, you love me to, but shh let your throat rest" Phil smiled soft. Dan rolled his eyes at him but smiled and kissed him as a thank you.

Minutes later they where outside robes around them and in swimming shorts. Dan had taken some beers whit him also. He gave one to felix and Sean not saying anything.  
“You two had a good time in there??” felix winked at Dan and phil.  
Dan opened his mouth but closed it, remembering his sore throat.  
Phil noticed so he spoke up instead “uhm well yeah, the bed was comfy we lost track of time” Phil lied, he was rubbish at lying. Dan rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
“Oh yeah good one Phil, ‘the bed was comfy' that is all yeah.. um no you are a bad liar phil" felix mocked.  
Dan shook his head and giggled quitly. Dan and Phil jumped in to the hottub, shocking thier bodys whit the warm water.  
“You should join us, it’s nice” Phil said to Felix and Sean.  
“Yeah we should, come felix time to change" Sean smiled eagerly. “Yeah and instead of others we only gonna change" Felix mocked on. Dan wanted to bicker back but his troath wasn’t ready to speak jet.

Only 2 minutes later and they where back. Jumping in the tub to.  
they sat chatting about how nice this was, already planning the next get away. Well not all of them Dan just sat there quite and nodding along.  
Felix noticed it just a few minutes later, “why so quite Dan, lost your voice or something?” felix joked.  
Dan couhgd 2 times, “ye h smtn li tha" his voice so raspy he didn’t even understand his own words, he smiled and shook his head.  
Felix mouth dropped open “what the heck did you do? You where fine just a hour ago?!" felix said concerned.  
Sean laughed sympatehetic at Felix “love, babe, I think it is more what the hell did Phil do to Dan"  
felix looked over to sean like a big question. “Oh.. ooooh" felix said then seconds later. facepalming himself, after understanding the whole thing.  
Now all of them laughing of how innocent Felix still was sometimes.

Sean reached over the edge, “so who want a sip of the Irish juices" Sean joked. Pulling up a bottle of whiskey.  
“Okay, phu fore a hot second I was wondering what this night took for turn, but okay yeah give me the irish juices” felix said laughing reaching for the bottle.  
Sean pulled the bottle out of reach for Felix, “hm which one of the Irish juices you like the most thought?” Sean mocked.  
“hm let’s see, the one from year 1990, light in colour, young and strong in taste, established and aged in Ballycumber.” Felix said in a posh mocking voice.  
Sean laughed but was impressed of that Felix remembered the town he grew up in. He gave the bottle to felix. Felix took to sips and gave it to Dan.  
“Should do wonders fore your throat man" Felix said smiling.

Dan took the bottle and gulped down a few mouths full. “ugh that’s disgusting” Dan said whit a raspy low voice, getting shivers from the alcohol taste.  
“Oi be careful what you say mate, we have a angry leprechaun just inches away, he looks small but when the Irish man in him gets angry you better watch out, those small fists can reach you before you know it" Felix mocked laughing.

“Ha wouldn’t want that to happen” Dan teased still whit a raspy voice. And giving the bottle to Phil.  
“Hey your voice is better already!” Phil beamed. “We should have known this months ago while touring, so we could have done that more often" Phil teased.  
“Exactly what do you mean by ‘that’” Felix asked Phil curios.  
Phil and Dan looked at each other, nodding. “Well some call it oral fixation, or a kink. I deep throat Phil’s cock past the gag reflexes, and let’s just say it’s not small" Dan said proudly and cool, smiling over to Phil.  
“Brooo Tmi but okay” felix said laughing.  
“It was you asking for it so" Dan mocked.

They passed the bottle a few more rounds, all of them feeling the buzz from the alcohol.  
“Wanna play a game?” Dan asked the others slurring on his words.  
“Yeah, what game tho?”  
“7 Second challenge whit a twist, you don’t answer or start your answer at least in the span of 7 seconds or start the challenge in time, you have to take a sip of whiskey or 4 swigs of beer” Dan explained.

All nodded and agreed on the game rules.  
“I will start then, I choose feIix. When and where did you get or gave your first kiss, boy and girl?” Dan asked eagerly. Felix wasn’t that open about those things in his life so Dan would try to croaks it out of him.  
“Oh girl 9-10 boy 16ish I think, the girl kiss was nothing special i mean i was just 9 or 10 years, she asked me to be her boyfriend. We where together 3 weeks and kissed ones.” Felix laughed. “boy ehm it was a dare, in a hottub, yeah how ironic.” Felix laughed nervous.

“wow was he at least hot?” Dan chuckled.  
“well yeah, way out of my league at least, and the typical hockey sports douchbag, bit of a homofobe to, but strangely the kiss was good. Maybe because I looked like a girl back then" felix joked.  
“Didn’t we all when we where 16?” Dan joked back and laughed. “your turn to ask fe"

“okay, Phil, if you could go back in time and erase one thing you said or did what would you erase?”  
“Easy a certain video that went public.. Would have made it of course because Dan’s face when he got that, and i still feel the same way about him now like i did then. But yeah would delete it directly after that.” Phil said squeezing Dan’s hand under water, and pulling him closer.

“Sean” Phil started. “what do you prefer top or bottom" he asked bluntly.  
“hm Bottom I think” Sean said smiling, Oh yeah he loved it when felix got dominant and throw him around in bed, pinning him down. Sean jumped a bit when felix nudged him in the side.  
“Uhm..okey, so these questions are to easy, nobody is drinking. So Dan.. what is your darkest dirtiest sex fantasy” Sean asked thinking no way Dan would answer that.

Phil laughed nodding to Dan who was looking at him whit a questioned look if it was okay to share, because he knew this was not only about him.  
“..4. 5. 6-" Sean counted mockingly.  
“okey well i have many but the one I like to forefill the most is a threesome or foursome” Dan grinned, wow the booze made him really share allot he thought. “and yeah whit a threesome I mean me Phil and one more guy, foursome us plus 2 guys or one guy and girl.” Dan blushed yep he definitely shared way to much.

Felix and phil laughed, already knowing about this. Well Phil knew everything, every little detail Dan wanted to try out and how he wanted it. Felix in the other hand he just heard about it, but yeah it wasn’t a chock fore him like it was fore Sean.  
Sean dropped his jaw when Dan told this. “wow okay wasn’t ready for an answer on that question, but just wow and yeah omg yeah" Sean said instantly regretting that he said that out loud.  
All of them raising an eyebrow, now them dropping thier jaws.

“Oh wow, uhm didn’t see that coming.. but okay time fore a dare. Phil dare you to take a skinny dip in the lake.”  
Phil shakes his head and reaches for the bottle of whisky in Sean’s hands. “nope I will happily take a shot of whiskey fore that instead"  
“oi boring boyfriend!” Dan laughs.

Phil shrugs and looks over to felix. “felix if you woke up whit a female body, what is the first thing you would do?”  
“uhm freak the hell out! And after that I would have sex whit Sean. Just to see how it feels for a woman.” Felix answers now really wondering how that would be.  
“my turn, Sean I dare you to kiss me” felix asks giggling.  
Sean trows himself over felix, one leg of each side of felix. Holding felix head whit both hands and kisses him, feeling the warmth shoot through his body, pulling felix lower lips whit his teeth, and now fully making out. Forgetting where they were and what they where doing.

“Oi calm down. And that’s against the rules!” Dan said laughing. But weirdly kind of liking the show.  
Sean sat back down next to felix. “and when did the rules say that? Or did someone get jealous so he made up that rule now?” felix teased.  
"both maybe, either way it was a to easy question." Dan said grinning. 

“Okey then Phil I dare you to suck a hickey in the most sensitive spot on dan" Sean said smiling whit a big grin.  
Phil turned to Dan, he saw how worked up was. Phil smiled to himself, thinking he knew exactly how he dan liked the show felix and Sean put on earlier. He loved teasing Dan, so he went all in now.

Phil slowly sat down in Dan’s lap, leg on each side, he lifted an eyebrow when he felt Dan’s half hard cock, surprised of how much he actually must have liked it. Dan shrugged and gave out a giggle.  
Phil put his mouth on the side of Dan’s neck, knowing exactly what spot was the most sensitive. Dan’s hand where on Phil’s thighs. Feeling the grip getting more tight the more he sucked at the sensitive spot I his neck. Phil knew exactly how absolutely wrecked Dan could be by this, the first time they discovered that he was so sensitive around his neck, Dan could almost come from just this. He felt how full on hard Dan was now, grip almost painful at his thighs. Phil was impressed how Dan was fighting his moaning. Just before he let go, Dan couldn’t hold it in anymore and a small whimpered moan escaped his mouth. Phil kissed Dan’s lips, and sat back down next to him.

“you okay there mate?” Felix teased.  
“Mmhm.. yeah more then okay" he teased back. Not bothered to even trying to sound cool about it.

“So my turn then, Dan I dare you to take a dip in the lake" Phil said grinning knowing Dan needed to cool down a bit before getting to worked up and horny.  
Dan smirked, knowing why Phil had giving him the dare. He turned around in the tub trying to hide his massive tent in his swimming trunks. Hopped down in the frosty cold grass. And sprinted down the few steps to the lake side, it was dark and cold only the full moon lighting up the surroundings. It was cold, so cold there was almost ice on the lake.  
Before he could change his mind he run down waist deep in the cold water taking his breath away and then dipping himself under water. He screamed and bolted up to the sore. Running and jumping in to the hot tub. Water splashing out of the tub and over the others. "fuck that was colder then i thought" Dan said. 

“Refersing?” Sean asked.  
“Never seen you run that fast" Phil teased.  
They all laughed, all clearly drunk and happy. Not able to stop laughing.

The laughing slowly died out, all of them forgetting the game and just enjoying the silence of the small waves forming on the sore of the lake, the trees waving in the wind and the crackling from the fire. They leaned back. Dan and Phil on one side hugging tight. Felix and Sean on the other side also in each others arms. They looked up in to the stars sighing of happiness. They stayed like that for a long time.  
“Its getting cold, I think the fire I’m the heater has gone out" Phil said suddenly feeling very cold.  
“Yeah time to get inside maybe" Sean murmured.

“What about the sauna?” Dan asked  
“Yeah we kind of forgot about that didn’t we, but we can use that tomorrow instead, its probably already cold in their again by now" felix said.  
They jumped out wrapping their towels around them and hurried up to the cabin.

Sean started the fire again, that had gone out for a long time ago. Felix held him company. Meanwhile Dan and Phil directly went for bed.  
Sean shivers, it had started to get cold inside to, and it wasn’t helping that he was still in his wet swimming shorts. Sitting in front of the fire reaching out his hands closer to heat them up. He is ready to get up when he feels a soft blanket being wrapped around him. And Felix sitting down next to him. Hugging him in closer to his side. Sean lays his head to rest on Felix shoulder.

“This is nice, can stay like this forever I think" Sean murmurs  
“Mmh me to” felix says quite and soft. Running his fingers through Sean’s hair and playing whit it.  
“Love you” Says Sean softly.  
“Love you too"  
They kiss lazily and soft. So much love behind the kiss, a warm feeling tingle through his whole body. They smile lovingly in to each other, fore heads against each other.

Sean lays his head back on Felix shoulder. Not even minutes later Sean falls asleep against Felix shoulder.  
Felix smiles, “hey love, we should get up and sleep in bed instead” Felix whispers softly. Hooking his arm around Sean to help him up. Sean barely awake gets up and hugs tight in to the side of Felix to stay up on his feet. Felix helps sean walk to the room. He leads Sean to the bed and makes him sit down on the bed. “need help?” he asked, looking down to Sean, wondering if he even heard him. 

He didnt get a response so he helped Sean out of his still damp swimming shorts. Felix stepped out of his leaving both of their shorts on the floor. He pulled the duvet back for Sean to get under it and as soon Sean laid down, felix climbed in close next to him. Sean was already fast asleep again. Felix hugged Sean’s cold body closer. Soon after both fast asleep.

Felix woke up sun shining through the window, directly in his eyes. Felix grunted and closed his eyes shut and pulled the duvet over his head. It was way to bright, and he felt a tiny bit hungover from yesterday. Okay no not a tiny bit, he felt sick. Ugh why did they drink so much yesterday, whiskey was not for drinking o half bottle of. And absolutely not better when you also drink wine and beer. Yep he felt like dying. And by the sound of it Sean felt the same. He was curled up next to him grunting. Felix pulled Sean down under the duvet.

“hey" Felix murmured and smiled. Felix loved waking up next to Sean, just looking at each other. It was dark under the duvet but light seeped in so he was able to see Sean just enough.  
“ugh, how are you able to smile, I feel like dying” Sean grunted. But couldn’t help smiling a little bit.  
“Well I feel the same, but how am I not able to smile when I look at you" Felix kissed Sean after that.  
“Ugh don't kiss me, I smell like a day after drinking way to much, by the way why did we drink so much..”  
Sean backed of a bit knowing his breath wasn’t the best right now, but felix pulled him back and looked at him lovingly.  
“Your breath doesn’t matter, it’s not like mine is better" felix laughed and kissed him. Sean kissed back.  
“Can we stay here all day?” Sean asked after a long silence.  
“Well we could but I think I need to drink at least several liters of water and probably should eat some to, and we are soon running out of air under here" felix said jokingly. Sean nodded and smiled.

“Are your eyes ready?” Felix asked pulling the duvet slowly down.  
“As ready as I can be" Sean laughed and shut his eyes.  
He felt the sun in his face, it felt warm and nice. Still eyes closed not wanting the brightness to make his headache worse. Suddenly the warming sun had disappeared, he opened his eyes one by one, Felix was just centimeters away from him. Both smiling. And then kissing.

Someone knocked at the door, “you two alive?” what sounded like Phil’s voice.  
“Yeah I think so but barley” Felix said.  
“Yeah we are getting way to old fore this shit" Sean laughed. "yeah we are, well Dan made breakfast so come out when you feel ready" phil said and walked away 

Dan was making a feast in the kitchen, salty crispy bacon and scrambled eggs. fresh berries and toast. And some fresh orange juice and strong coffee. He placed it all on the table, placed out some plates and glasses.  
"it smells so good in here! And Wow this looks delicious, thanks love" Phil said when he got in to the kitchen.  
Sean and felix came in short after, both amazed by the feast, both realizing how hungry they where.

“What are the plans for today?” Sean said whit his mouth full. Finally feeling like a human again.  
“Well what about we rest first after breakfast, it’s quite early still so we have time. Then I was thinking if we have the energy to walk up the small hill behind here, they say it has a nice view.” Phil said eagerly.  
“Sounds like a good plan" Felix said and the rest nodding along.

After they cleaned up Felix and Sean decided to put on their coats and take some blankets and went outside to lounge in the garden sofa. It was sunny outside and against the wall of the cabin it wasn’t that cold. the sofa was big, and enough room to cuddle up next to each other. So they did. Sean pressed his back against Felix behind him. Feeling the warmth from the sun and Felix holding him tight.

Soon after Dan and Phil came outside to. “is their enough room for us to?” Phil asked, hugging some blankets in his arms. Dan holding a big jug of homemade lemonade and 4 glasses, and o packet of cookies under his arm. He placed the glasses out and poured the lemonade.  
Felix and Sean sat up, both taking a glass. All of them munching on some cookies and drinking up the lemonade. 

“you know in Sweden we have a word fore this, fika, drinking coffee or other beverage and cake or cookies. Best thing about Sweden if you ask me" felix explained.  
“well I think we should make a tradition to it, get together more often and take a fiikka" Phil said eagerly not pronouncing the word right.  
Felix laughed and nods.  
They all laid down on the sofa again curling up in the blankets.

Almost an hour passes, all of them relaxed quite and happy. Felix finds it nice to have friends that feel the same, and like the same things, they can be loud and outgoing, almost like an extroverted person on their channels or in public whit their fans, but all of them are very introverted persons. They need the peace and quite to find energy. Sometimes they need to just totally be by them self, sometimes it’s just enough around each other and relax and not feel the need to speak or interact.

“what do you all think, should we get dressed and take a walk?” Sean said. Looking forward for an explore around the cabin.  
“We can make some sandwiches and take a thermos whit coffee whit us, it’s almost lunch time so if we get hungry we should pack some food" Felix said eagerly.  
All agreed, and they helped each other out in the kitchen. Just minutes later they where hiking up the small mountain behind the cabin.  
Felix and Sean took the lead, the trail up wasn’t to bad.

"i don't understand, why are we falling behind when our legs are so much longer then those 2 up front whit fucking short legs" Dan muttered out of breath. "well love they do a thing called training daily" Phil laughed back out of breath.

"hard to keep up the pace?" Felix mocked lightly. "well yeah i don't understand how i can be so out of breath when its not even steep" Phil said. "well i think the still lingering hangover is not helping either" Sean said. "but we don't have long left, i think its maybe a 10 min walk around that corner and then we should be there" Felix said.

When the walked around the corner and out of the forest the view was beautiful, mountains in the distance and open fields whit cows and sheep. "this is amazing, okey yeah it was worth the struggle up here" Dan beamed. 

They all sat down on the bench by the trail and enjoyed the view, peace and quite. Phil poured up coffee and handed out the sandwiches.


End file.
